


If You Have To

by EvvieJo



Category: Torchwood
Genre: AU, High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-27
Updated: 2015-04-26
Packaged: 2018-02-19 01:16:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 31,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2369018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvvieJo/pseuds/EvvieJo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>17-year-old Ianto Jones has his life uprooted when his family moves across the Atlantic to Washington, D.C. But after stumbling across one Jack Harkness, he unexpectedly starts to develop a new sense of belonging.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The cool and shade of Rock Creek Park were soothing. Especially when you desperately needed something to make you feel just a little bit closer to home in a completely foreign place. Okay, not so completely foreign. It would have been much worse, if he ended up in a place where no one spoke English of any sort. Although not seeing any Welsh signs and not hearing people around him use any Welsh words was new.  
Ianto rubbed his eyes and sighed. The last month had been the craziest time of his life. It had barely been 32 days since his father gathered the four of them round the dinner table to share the news he had got. Some big wig from his company (whose job was supplying the royal armed forces with weapons and ammunition) knew someone who knew someone at the Pentagon and he had been offered a job in America. And not just any job, but a consulting job at the Pentagon, complete with a set of complex confidentiality agreements and stuff. Everyone rejoiced, except for Ianto. Rhiannon had always wanted to go to America, and she was hoping to be able to transfer from the University of Cardiff to one in D.C. Maybe Georgetown? Their mother was always willing to follow their father wherever life threw him, and not having a job or any attachment other than her weekly mani-pedi appointments, she could do that.  
Only Ianto was anything but happy.  
He had to leave all of his friends, his girlfriend, the familiarity of Cardiff, the beauty of Wales and come to this entirely new world that felt a little bit like another planet.  
So now he was thrown into a brand new life, forced to get used to a different education system (and a prestigious new school, the Benjamin Banneker Academic High School), alienated from his classmates not just by the fact that they’d spent the last three years or more getting to know each other, and he stumbled (literally) into their school in the middle of the semester, but also by his accent. He even thought he’d fit in better if he came from the Middle East or Eastern Europe, not Wales. And after barely a week he was beyond exhausted of telling everyone that no, he was not English.  
The school was full of rich arseholes whose daddies worked high up in the government or the army, or whatever, and despite the fact that his own family was certainly not poor, Ianto felt uncomfortable around them. He didn’t want to be considered one of them, and was grateful that they lived in the comparatively “normal” neighbourhood of Manor Park and not a posh one like Chevy Chase. (He’d already learnt that was where all the snobs lived.)  
The only thing he was allowed not to be parted with was Myfanwy. The Welsh sheepdog had been his faithful friend – often a better one than any of his mates back home who seemed to forget his existence the moment he touched down in D.C. – for going on five years. So now he was trying to spend as much time as he could, with the crazy amount of schoolwork he had, out on walks with her.  
They’d already been circling the park for an hour, when a rustle in some shrubs to their left caught their attention. Soon after followed the murmur of a whispered conversation and a moan, that made Ianto quite convinced he wanted to get out of there before whoever was there realised they weren’t alone.  
But before he could retrace his footsteps without making too much noise, someone ran out of the bushes. It surprised Ianto when he recognised the boy. He was, like Ianto, a junior at BBAHS. His name was John Hart and he was a son of some wealthy entrepreneur and his supposedly very beautiful wife. What made his face remarkable among all the other over four hundred students at the school were his razor-sharp cheekbones.  
There was something odd about the way he looked now, though, Ianto noticed. His shirt had been apparently pulled out from where it had clearly been tucked into his trousers, his face was flushed, and he was obviously flustered.  
And then he noticed Ianto staring at him, and other emotions overtook his expression. Shame. Anger.  
‘What’re you staring at?,’ he barked at him, taking a menacing step in Ianto’s direction (or at least it would’ve been menacing if John wasn’t shorter than Ianto).  
‘Nothing, I was just walking by. With my dog.’  
At that, Myfanwy growled, baring her teeth, ready to defend her master.  
Hart snorted, trying to hide his continued unease (though he wasn’t exactly successful, if Ianto was to be the judge). ‘I’m scared shitless,’ he said mockingly and walked quickly away.  
As soon as John disappeared at the turn of the path, a soft chuckle drew Ianto’s attention back to the shrubs to his left. It was quite shocking to find that he knew that person, too. It’s starting to get creepy, he thought.  
Jack Harkness, the son of a well-respected Republican senator, was standing casually, leaning on a tree and smirking, with his hands buried in the pockets of his trademark long coat. They had a couple of subjects together, so Ianto knew him by name and had noticed that the guy was incredibly cocky, but also unexpectedly intelligent. Jack was also one of the most popular students at BBAHS, but for a reason unfathomable to Ianto. He wasn’t a Hollywood-film cliché of a jock, he wasn’t dating cheerleaders, and he largely kept to himself – apart from spending most of his lunch breaks with a group of misfit friends. The only explanation for his popularity could be his extremely good looks, with those electric blue eyes, dark hair, dimples and that blindingly white smile.  
And as if he was reading Ianto’s mind, he smiled that exact smile at him.  
‘You’re the Welsh guy from Banneker,’ he said simply, surprising Ianto with getting right his nationality.  
‘Yeah,’ Ianto replied warily. He hadn’t figured Jack out enough to just trust him in the middle of Rock Creek Park. Especially after seeing another guy basically running away from him. ‘You’re Jack Harkness.’  
‘Yeah.’ He shot Ianto that smile again; it felt like he was flirting and Ianto didn’t know how he felt about that. ‘And you are...?’  
In a languid, graceful movement he pushed himself away from the tree and took a couple of steps in Ianto’s direction.  
Ianto swallowed and licked his lips; why did he feel so strange and uneasy around this guy? So completely different to what he felt around John a couple of minutes earlier.  
‘Jones,’ he stuttered. ‘Ianto Jones.’  
‘That’s a cool name, Jones, Ianto Jones,’ Jack said, reaching to Myfanwy to pat her on the head. She sniffed his hand suspiciously, but eventually let him touch her.  
‘No, it isn’t,’ Ianto snorted.  
Myfanwy licked Jack’s hand, and he crouched in front of her, scratching her behind her ears.  
‘That’s a good boy,’ he said.  
‘It’s a she,’ Ianto corrected him automatically. ‘Guess you can only tell males and females apart when they’re human.’  
He was sure his not-well-thought-through retort was going to offend Jack, but he only laughed.  
‘I’m so so sorry, m’lady,’ he cooed at Myfanwy. ‘What’s her name, then?’  
‘Myfanwy,’ Ianto said. ‘M-Y-F-A-N-W-Y.’  
‘Okay, you’re right, that is a cool name.’ Jack looked up at him from under his lashes (now Ianto was sure he was being flirted with).  
‘It- er- Yeah, it is.’  
Then there came a longer pause, filled only with Jack’s murmurs to Myfanwy, who seemed to have taken to him very fast. Ianto dug his hands deep into his pockets. He was never a champion of socialising, it took him unusually long to get close to anyone, he could never feel completely at ease around people he didn’t know well, and now all he could count on was Myfanwy pulling all of Jack’s attention on herself.  
But apparently he counted on too much.  
‘Don’t worry about Hart, he’s not gonna do anything,’ Jack said suddenly, glancing at Ianto. ‘Officially, we don’t talk to each other.’  
‘Oh.’ Ianto paused. He wished he had never wandered into that part of the park. ‘I didn’t mean to- you know- walk in on you two or anything.’  
Jack chuckled.  
‘God, you’re uptight. First, you didn’t walk in on us, and there was hardly anything to walk in on anyway.’ Ianto raised an eyebrow at him dubiously. ‘Okay, yeah, maybe there was. But you didn’t. Second, don’t say “you two”, there’s no “us two”. It sounds like we’re a couple, and we’re as far from that as anyone ever could be. We just hooked up a few times when we were drunk, and he keeps denying that it happened.’  
‘Oh,’ Ianto repeated. ‘I’m not gonna say anything, don’t worry.’  
He took a step back as Jack stood up. They were the same height and Ianto wasn’t entirely sure he wanted the guy inches from his face like that. Maybe if he knew him better, maybe if he knew what he could expect from him.  
‘I don’t care. Not like I have a reputation to protect.’ Another flash of teeth. Like there was something to be proud of in what he said. ‘Hart might not take it as lightly, though.’  
‘Why? Does he have a reputation to protect?,’ Ianto asked. He realised that somehow they weren’t standing anymore; they’d set off in a slow pace in the direction Ianto had been going before stumbling upon the two other boys.  
‘He does,’ Jack said, ‘though it’s not really his own.’  
Ianto looked at him quizzically. ‘What do you mean?’  
‘I guess you haven’t had enough time to find out what it’s like in this town, have you?’ Ianto shook his head. ‘Hart’s dad’s like the go-to guy when a Republican presidential candidate is looking for endorsements.’  
‘Oh.’ Ianto was beginning to feel really stupid for saying that.  
‘Yeah.’  
Something occurred to Ianto and he stopped abruptly.  
‘Wait a second, isn’t your dad a Republican?’  
They stopped in unison. Jack dropped his head and let out an unamused laugh. It took him a second before he turned back to Ianto.  
‘Yeah. Should I be worried I have a stalker?’  
‘What?’ Ianto knitted his eyebrows. ‘No! God, no.’  
Jack shrugged his shoulders. ‘I wouldn’t really mind, though.’  
Ianto rolled his eyes in response, making the other boy laugh.  
‘You really can’t take a compliment, can you?’  
‘Guess not.’  
They exchanged a look and much of Ianto’s tension melted away. Jack was peculiar, but had a way of making people comfortable. And he certainly had a lot of charm, no one could deny that. Ianto wasn’t even going to try to fool himself he didn’t fall victim to it a little bit.  
They continued in a measured pace, heading back towards Brightwood and Mansion Park.  
‘So, you don’t have your dad’s reputation to protect?,’ Ianto asked after a short while.  
‘Technically, yes. But I don’t really care anymore, and it’s not like he’s making much effort to do it himself, being a dickhead and an asshole, so I’m not gonna help him.’  
‘Oh, er- sorry I asked.’  
Jack waved his hand dismissively. ‘Nothing to be sorry for.’ He paused for a second. ‘I didn’t even ask if I could walk with you. Is this weird?’  
A corner of Ianto’s mouth tugged up, even though he tried to stay straight-faced.  
‘It is most certainly weird. But it’s fine.’  
‘Not the type to get freaked out by a guy making a pass at you, are you?’  
‘S’pose not. Maybe a little at first.’ He dared a glance at Jack. ‘Now I’m mostly just flattered.’  
Jack looked happy with himself, but his face soon fell as they reached the edge of the park and it became clear this wasn’t the direction he was supposed to go. Ianto couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed, too. For the first time since coming to America he felt like he had a semblance of a friend.  
‘I guess I should be going back. I didn’t even realise we’ve walked all this way here,’ Jack said, his eyes shooting nervously back down the path they’d just come. ‘Anyway, nice talking to you, Jones, Ianto Jones.’  
Ianto snorted at the cheesy way he’d introduced himself repeated by Jack.  
‘Nice talking to you, too, Jack No-Reputation-To-Protect Harkness.’  
They both laughed at that, and simultaneously realised they clicked. It wasn’t a semblance of a friend. Somehow they knew that if one of them needed a sidekick in anything, there he was, right in front of them.  
‘See you tomorrow, Ianto. And if you need a place to sit at lunch, sit with us.’  
‘You know I may take you up on that offer?’  
‘I’m counting on it.’


	2. 2

The next morning Ianto woke up in as bad a mood as every day since their arrival in D.C. He rolled off the bed, careful not to push Myfanwy off, as she kept sleeping peacefully on his duvet. Still groggy, he dragged his feet to the bathroom and splashed his face with water to wake himself up. Slowly, he began to remember that there could be some improvement in his miserable American high school plight, and along with sleepiness, his bad mood went away.  
Even his long trip on the capital’s public transport didn’t take the budding cheerfulness away from him. He jogged up the majestic entrance of the school with a fresh wave of the optimism that he’d been convinced he had left somewhere in Wales.  
For whatever reason, he was surprised Jack wasn’t waiting for him, leaning on one of the columns in front of the main entrance. But obviously, it would’ve been ridiculous to actually expect him to. So Ianto just sighed at his stupidity and went in.  
He saw a couple of Jack’s friends during recess, but never said a word to them, since well, they hadn’t been introduced and he didn’t want to assume they wanted him to talk to them. And then he saw Jack in their AP English class, but they didn’t have a chance to talk either, especially when Jack bolted out of the classroom as soon as the bell rang.  
So Ianto’s enthusiasm waned.  
For a glorious few hours he’d had this fantasy of living a wonderful life as if taken out of Beverly Hills 90210 that he used to catch reruns of in secret back in Wales. The absolute cliché of the life of teenagers in America. But now he had to try unwillingly to remove the daydream from his mind, and face reality: he was going to be lonelier and more miserable than he used to be in Cardiff. There he at least had those few mates he could hang out with on a regular basis. And Lisa.  
But Lisa didn’t even want to try long-distance. She had told him that point-blank. “I don’t think it could work out, we’re too young to commit like that, Ianto. It’s better to save ourselves the heartbreak,” she’d said. She hadn’t foreseen that with that she could break Ianto’s heart. And break his heart she did.  
He wasn’t really counting on being popular or dating a new girl every month. He just hoped for any distraction from his painful loneliness. From the fact that the last he’d heard from anyone back home that he wasn’t related to was an hour after landing. Since then, radio silence. He kept checking his Facebook constantly, but it was as empty as ever. His phone was silent, too, but considering the expenses, it was understandable. Yet it still stung.  
At lunchtime, he entered the cafeteria with his head hung low, focused entirely on getting his portion of spaghetti with meatballs, a bottle of water and an apple. Attending to such trivial things kept his mind off his disappointment. It also made him much less aware of the people around him and where he was going, so he accidentally bumped his tray into someone, causing his water bottle to do a backflip towards the floor.  
‘Sorry,’ Ianto muttered as he immediately dropped to his knees to retrieve it.  
‘Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold your horses, cowboy,’ a voice said a little too close to be coming from someone standing up.  
Ianto looked up, straight into the brilliance of Jack Harkness’ blue eyes.  
‘We had an appointment,’ Jack said lightly, putting his hand on the bottle at the same moment as Ianto. Their fingers brushed against each other, and the latter boy recoiled from the touch, letting Jack place the bottle back on his tray.  
He had no idea why he did either of those things.  
‘Did we?’  
‘Maybe not exactly an appointment, but I do recall an offer,’ Jack said, standing up. ‘Come on, we sit through there.’  
‘I know.’  
Only when Jack quirked his eyebrow in response, did Ianto realise he answered a little too fast. He sounded desperate. Feeling the heat of a blush creeping onto his cheeks, he followed Jack to the table.  
‘Everyone, this is Ianto, as you may already know,’ Jack said, putting his hands on the boy’s shoulder, as if he needed to be pointed out to them. It was very casual, especially coming from Jack, but it was something entirely new for Ianto. ‘Ianto, this is everyone.’ He flashed him his number five smile.  
‘Hi, er- everyone,’ Ianto stammered and tried smiling, too.  
‘Hey,’ said the shy Asian girl he’d seen in his AP Algebra class. ‘I’m Tosh.’  
‘More like Toshiko Actual-All-Around-Genius Sato,’ said the boy opposite her, who was fiddling with his chips, and she turned crimson. Uh-huh, she was blatantly in love with him and he seemed oblivious. ‘Owen Harper,’ he added, extending his hand for Ianto to shake, which Ianto did, balancing his tray on one hand.  
Jack hurried to make room for him to sit, and surprised him by taking Ianto’s food out of his hands.  
The last person to introduce herself was a dark-haired girl with huge round hazel eyes.  
‘Gwen. Cooper,’ she said, tearing her lips away from the straw she was using to drink the contents of a juice box. Ianto noticed she was really pretty despite the sizeable gap between her upper front incisors.  
He sat down finally, on the edge of the only empty chair, which was clearly waiting for him. He wasn’t exactly comfortable being around a group of strangers and their familiarity between one another only made things worse.  
‘Jack introduced himself already, I’m sure,’ Owen sniggered, never stopping chewing his chips.  
‘He did, yeah,’ Ianto said, before catching on. There was an inside joke hidden somewhere in Owen’s words. Gwen raised an eyebrow. Tosh bore her gaze into her plate of spaghetti, fighting a giggle. Jack rolled his eyes. ‘Or not.’  
Owen snorted, ‘Your time’s gonna come, mate.’  
‘If you say so, but for what exactly?,’ Ianto asked cautiously.  
‘For making out with Jack, obviously,’ Gwen said with a gap-toothed grin.  
It turned out that was the worst moment to take a sip of water, and Ianto spluttered the drink out, thankfully no further than his own tray (but still to Owen and Gwen’s amusement; Jack and Tosh kept silent).  
‘Ex- Excuse me?’ He stared incredulously at his new group of friends. They sure where amused, but they didn’t seem to be joking. ‘Have you all- snogged Jack?’  
‘I haven’t,’ Jack deadpanned.  
‘I’m gonna ignore it and pretend it wasn’t creepy,’ Ianto said. ‘But seriously, all of you?’  
Three heads nodded in sync.  
‘Seriously?’  
Identical, unified nod.  
‘At least tell me it wasn’t an orgy.’  
‘Well...,’ Jack said. ‘No. Not that I didn’t suggest.’  
It took Ianto a second to get over a sudden urge to slap Jack over the head.  
‘That is a little comforting. I was beginning to worry I ended up with sex-crazed Americans who haven’t ended up on Teen Mom only by some miracle or excellent knowledge of contraception methods.’  
Jack opened his mouth to say something, but a glare from Ianto silenced him.  
‘Okay, so I wanna hear the stories.’  
Tosh giggled. ‘So, I actually made out with everyone, too. ‘Cause I had mistletoe last Christmas.’  
‘And too much eggnog, Tosh,’ Gwen added.  
‘True,’ she admitted willingly. ‘But that’s pretty much the whole story.’  
‘Owen, your turn,’ Jack prompted with a devilish smile.  
The other boy laughed. ‘We didn’t make out then, Harkness, and you know it.’  
‘But it’s a good story.’ Jack shrugged.  
‘Sure is,’ Gwen said, nodding and attempting to hide an excited smile. She definitely knew the story by heart and loved hearing it again.  
Without a word, Ianto stuffed his mouth full of pasta and waved at the others to go on telling the story.  
‘So, we were like eight or nine,’ Owen said. Somehow Ianto’s ability to be surprised was running out. ‘We were at this camp somewhere in the middle of nowhere.’  
‘We were cub scouts together,’ Jack added. He was rocking himself in his chair, with a smile caught somewhere between arrogance and nostalgia. An odd combination, especially on the face of a seventeen-year-old boy.  
‘Yep, so we were there, and we were like, I don’t know, getting firewood or something, and it was just the two of us for a while, and we got to talking about girls.’  
‘And, as you can imagine, we weren’t the most inexperienced of eight-year-olds.’ Jack gave Ianto a wink.  
‘So Jack was bragging that he kissed a girl, her name was Jessica and she was the prettiest girl at school...’  
‘And poor Owen confessed to him that he’d never kissed anyone,’ Gwen interjected excitedly.  
Her friend rolled her eyes at her. ‘I’ve had a lot of practice since then, thank you very much.’ He turned back to Ianto. ‘So Jack offered to teach me how to kiss. He wasn’t half bad for an eight-year-old.’  
‘I’ve always been a great kisser, Harper, just admit it,’ Jack teased.  
‘Believe what you want, Harkness. But the bottom line is that I said yes, and our leader found us kissing, and we got kicked out, end of story.’ Owen grinned happily, as if getting kicked out of cub scouts was one of his finest moments.  
‘Wait, was it because you were eight, or because you’re both guys?,’ Ianto asked.  
‘The latter,’ Jack sighed. ‘Those were good times. The first time I was grounded for kissing a guy.’  
‘How does that make it “good times”?’  
‘He likes being the rebel,’ Tosh said, doing a bad impression of Jack.  
‘Don’t mock me! I’m fighting the system!’ Jack folded his arms over his chest.  
‘No, sweetheart, you’re doing all you can to excel in the art of pissing off your dad,’ Gwen laughed.  
‘That’s a side effect.’  
Ianto cleared his throat. ‘Okay, so what was the end of the story?’  
‘Like Owen said,’ Jack answered. ‘They kicked us out for being gay. Problem was that we didn’t even know what it meant. And that they were wrong, those ignorant bigots.’  
‘Wrong?’  
‘Yeah, neither of us turned out to be gay after all.’  
Ianto frowned. ‘Last night you seemed quite gay indeed.’  
‘Last night?,’ Gwen asked, suddenly serious and alert.  
‘He almost walked in on me and,’ Jack lowered his voice, ‘the other J.H. in Rock Creek Park.’  
Owen burst out laughing.  
‘You’re taking little Johnny for romantic walks to get him to let you fuck him again?’  
The only response he got from Jack was a glare.  
‘Oh,’ Gwen said with what seemed like relief.  
‘Thing is, my dear friend, I find beauty in all people,’ Jack said with faux-solemnity.  
Owen snorted, ‘Nope, you find all people fuckable. If we’d give you a primate, you’d probably find it fuckable, too.’  
‘I resent that implication,’ Jack protested. ‘But, say, a hot humanoid alien? I wouldn’t say no to a third-degree encounter.’  
‘You’re one sick man, Harkness.’ Gwen shook her head, but her expression said something completely different.  
‘God, you are all sick,’ Ianto sighed.  
But he smiled at that, too. He realised he liked them. They were all warped, obnoxious, inappropriate and probably morally loose, but he didn’t really mind. They didn’t make him feel like a stranger.  
Before he knew it, the lunch break was over and he felt a little bit like he belonged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update after just over a week! But you probably shouldn't get used to it, 'cause as much as I'd like it keep it up, I have very limited writing time (and I often suffer from writer's block), and the pre-written chapters are gonna end way too soon. I'll do my best, though!  
> Oh, although the story focuses on Janto, there is another pairing that I will explore to some extent. Or even more than one. Just so you know.  
> All feedback is very highly appreciated!


	3. Chapter 3

Later that day Toshiko volunteered to be Ianto’s partner in Chemistry. He was glad she did, since he hadn’t really talked to anyone else in class and was largely treated like an outsider (not that he didn’t understand why).  
He was also happy that it was her he had Chemistry with, and not anyone else from Jack’s gang, because a) as Owen had remarked, she was a genius, and b) she was probably the sanest of the lot. It so happened that her brilliance wasn’t much needed, as the experiments they were doing were relatively basic, so Ianto decided there would be no better occasion to find out more about that mismatched group of friends.  
‘So what’s up with Jack and Owen?,’ he asked after a moment’s pause; it wasn’t exactly awkward, but still not really comfortable either.  
Tosh laughed, a little nervously if Ianto was to be the judge.  
‘Oh, they’ve been best friends since forever,’ she explained. ‘All they’re saying, it’s all true, it’s just that it doesn’t really mean anything.’  
‘The cub scouts story?’  
‘That, and you know, everything else.’ Ianto sent her a querying look, so she sighed and continued. ‘Well, they aren’t exactly fans of monogamy.’  
He could tell Tosh was miserable about it, and wondered if her friends knew she was in love with Owen. To Ianto, it was blatantly obvious.  
‘So it didn’t end with that kiss, huh?,’ he muttered.  
‘Nope. They hooked up a couple of times, but again, it’s just experimenting. Especially on Owen’s part.’  
‘Because Jack finds everyone fuckable,’ Ianto added.  
Tosh nodded with a giggle.  
‘Yep.’  
‘How do you even stand to be around these guys?,’ Ianto said. ‘I mean, you seem so- normal- compared to them.’  
She turned serious at that. At first he thought she was offended, but then he recognised an entirely different emotion in her expression. Sadness.  
‘It’s not like that,’ she began. She was speaking very carefully, when he’d expected her to be defensive and angry. ‘They’re not that shallow, you know? They’ve both been through some tough stuff, and they don’t care about all the political stuff that their parents try to force on them, or about the money. They just want to be happy, and they’re doing their best. Even though sometimes it may seem- bad in some way. They both could have everything in this school, they could date the prettiest girls or the most good-looking guys, be friends with the most popular, but they choose to stick with me and Gwen, ‘cause they just don’t give a crap about what people think about them.’  
Ianto just nodded in acknowledgement. Everything that Toshiko told him about Jack and Owen sounded a little naive and maybe even pretentious. But he felt like there was not a bit of naivety, pretentiousness or dishonesty in that. He could always read people quite well, and his instinct rarely failed. And he felt like he really could make friends with this weird bunch.  
‘Isn’t Jack popular at school, though? I mean, his name was like the second I heard in this place, right after the principal.’  
‘Oh, he is. But he just doesn’t have to try, you know?’ Tosh paused, focusing on pouring some solution into one of the beakers. (Ianto had lost the track of what they were supposed to do, and blessed whatever higher power there could be for giving his new friend a remarkable ability to multitask.) ‘He’s basically charm impersonated, he doesn’t play varsity sports or mingle with the school “elite”,’ she put the beakers away to make air quotes. ‘He’s just Jack. He smiles, and people go weak at the knees.’  
‘So I’ve seen,’ Ianto said absent-mindedly as his thoughts drifted off. People go weak at the knees. What did she mean people? The people Jack hooked up with? The people he made out with? Or just people, generally, as a rule? It seemed an important distinction, but he didn’t ask for details.  
He wasn’t sure what the answer would be. Not like he was sure that he had experienced the weakening of his knees under the gaze of those clear ice-blue eyes.  
‘And then, obviously, there are the parties,’ Tosh added. She wasn’t really paying attention to Ianto, her hands and eyes busy examining their solution.  
‘Parties?’  
She cast him a glance over the thick rims of her glasses.  
‘Yeah, you haven’t heard about the parties yet?’ She half-smiled and turned back to Ianto. ‘Jack has parties at his house pretty much every other week. Well, whenever his parents are out for whatever reason.’  
‘So what’s so special about the parties?’  
Toshiko shrugged. ‘Nothing, really. There’s music and hectolitres of booze, and no parental supervision, and loads of empty guest rooms around the house.’  
‘Meaning, that Jack is the Jay Gatsby of the spoilt hormonal rebellious teenagers of Benjamin Banneker Academic High School,’ Ianto summed up.  
‘If this is how you see us, then yes.’  
‘Maybe it’s not anything bad. But I wouldn’t have pegged you for a party-goer.’  
She sent him a glance from under squinted eyelids, which turned her eyes into tiny slits.  
‘Should I be offended?,’ she said, faking anger.  
‘No,’ he said with a laugh. ‘I just thought you were more of a-‘  
‘Nerd?,’ she offered.  
‘Well, yes.’  
‘If it makes you feel better, I do calculate the amount of alcohol I can consume without blacking out or puking, so I can actually enjoy drinking.’  
Ianto couldn’t hold back a chuckle. ‘Okay, I admit, that is nerdy.’  
They both stifled laughter.  
‘How does one get invited to one of Jack’s parties?,’ Ianto asked after a moment.  
‘You don’t.’ Before she could add anything else, Ianto’s face fell, and she hurried to explain. ‘There are no invitations. You just show up. Everyone knows when there’s gonna be a party, and they come.’  
‘God, I was right, he is Gatsby.’  
‘Minus the self-made-man thing,’ Tosh noted.  
‘Obviously.’ Ianto knitted his eyebrows; his thoughts drifted to the American novel which he’d read not too long ago. ‘Is there a green light outside of his window, then?,’ he added, making an effort to sound casual. (God, why did he even have to try? It was just a question, didn’t mean anything. It wasn’t even really serious.)  
Tosh bit her lip, clearly considering something. She didn’t answer for a few minutes, and when she finally did, she was choosing her words very carefully again.  
‘He doesn’t have a green light, no. Not like that. I mean, there’s no light. There’s no Daisy Buchanan, either. But there’s- There are things I’d rather leave for Jack to tell you if he so wishes.’  
The mood had changed completely; it was no longer a light-hearted conversation between two new friends. There was again that sadness from before in Tosh’s face, only stronger. She turned her face away in an attempt to conceal it, but she was too late.  
‘The tough stuff?,’ Ianto asked her quietly.  
She nodded. ‘I just don’t like talking about other people’s problems, you know?’ She smiled apologetically at him.  
‘It’s fine. It’s none of my business.’  
They looked at each other for a second awkwardly, not knowing what else to say. Then, Toshiko’s smile broadened and changed.  
‘He likes you, though.’  
‘Who?,’ Ianto asked inanely.  
‘Jack, dummy.’ She rolled her eyes; it was obvious who she had meant.  
‘Oh.’ He hesitated. ‘But- do you think he likes me, or- like likes me?’  
Tosh raised an eyebrow and tried futilely not to grin.  
‘Which one would you like it to be?’ Ianto glared at her. ‘Okay, okay. I don’t know. But I guess we’ll see.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A minor change you might've noticed: a kind reader pointed it out to me that I made a mistake concerning the scouts, so I corrected it. It should be cub scouts, not boy scouts, since they were eight at the time. Thank you again, sd4ianto!
> 
> Anyway, I think I'll continue updating more or less once a week for as long as I can. I don't have much time for writing, having three jobs and volunteer work, and housework, and a tumblr to run, and a million shows to watch, but I'm doing my best!
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

The remainder of the week at school passed by slowly and quickly at the same time. Because as much as the classes usually dragged on and on, the breaks and lunchtimes were a blur. It took Ianto one more day to walk straight to the table occupied by Jack and his friends without hesitation. And that one time he did hesitate, the whole group called him over before he even managed to walk ten steps away from the counter.  
Ianto was getting to know his new friends bit by bit every day. Mostly, he just listened to them talk with no restraints at all, only adding something or asking for explanation from time to time. Sometimes, they offered a story or explanation just to make him feel like he belonged, and he loved that. They were making him feel comfortable around them almost by accident, an unconsidered side-effect of their incessant logorrhoea. But he could guess it was just the way they were, that whenever one of them had joined their little outsider’s club before, the rest did this for them, too.  
He wasn’t going to verify if it was true, but decided he liked believing that.  
He preferred thinking of his newly acquired group of friends as just that – a group, never singling anyone out, treating them in his mind almost as if they were one person with several different sides to them rather than a collection of people.  
More than anything else, he did it to stop himself from thinking about one person too much. He couldn’t even tell why. But thinking of Jack as just Jack, without the addition of his gang, confused him to a level he’d never known before. And he had no idea why that was so. Was it because of Jack’s smugness? His unabashed flirtiness with just about anyone? The way they just clicked, seconds after they first talked to each other? The way Jack gave Ianto the feeling of his life having a meaning again?  
Because, yes, no matter how cheesy he deemed it in his mind, how utterly pretentious and silly, Ianto was beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel. However faraway or dim it still seemed, it was more than he’d had since the day his world crashed down on him with the simple words “we’re moving to America.”  
And no matter how many times he tried telling himself it wasn’t so, deep down he knew it was thanks to one Jack Harkness.  
On Friday afternoon, after coming home from school, Ianto took Myfanwy for a long stroll to Rock Creek Park. They hadn’t been there since Monday, the time when he stumbled upon Jack groping John Hart in the shrubs. He pushed the thoughts of that deep into the back of his head. He didn’t want the walk to end up with him pondering Jack Harkness all the while, and turning his brain into more of a mush than it already was. He wanted to clear his head. Just be with his dog, throw her sticks, and not think at all. He was worried that if he really started wondering about Jack, he’d overthink the hell out of whatever was happening to him. So he avoided thinking about him altogether.  
They reached the park when the sun was still shining brightly, basking the new leaves in warm afternoon light. Ianto squinted at the brilliant light and shivered, even though it wasn’t cold at all. For the first time he saw the place in sunlight like that. And for the first time he didn’t see it as a fantastical portal taking him straight back to Wales. This was just Rock Creek Park in Washington, D.C. Beautiful in itself, without mystical properties, but magical nonetheless.  
Ianto smiled to himself. His thoughts were clear, as far from Jack Harkness as they could be. This was what he needed. To see that there were other places on this earth that he could grow to call home.  
***  
On Saturday, Ianto’s spirits fell by a fraction. Twenty four hours had gone by without any sign that the gang remembered his existence, and it hurt more than he could possibly call natural. They weren’t really fast friends, were they? They were just some people that didn’t mind eating lunch and spending recess with him. It was nothing profound or life-altering.  
He buried himself in homework to take his mind off of that. He had a History report to write, and that was a good way of forgetting his own misery. Somehow crowding his mind with information on seventeenth-century epidemics of smallpox and their economic consequences turned out a wonderful cure to depressing thoughts and the feeling of loneliness.  
He was just writing up his conclusions when someone honked their horn in the street. He cursed the idiot who did it in his mind, and tried refocusing on his homework. But the horn blared out deafeningly again, more urgent and aggressive than before. Ianto rolled his eyes and jumped to his feet to close the window, in hopes of drowning the noise down a little.  
But as soon as he reached the window, he noticed there was a pretentious vintage Chevrolet right under his window, and a familiar figure was standing in the open door of the vehicle, reaching in, undoubtedly, to sound the horn again.  
Ianto’s eyes almost popped out of his sockets, and he quickly leant out of the window, while Jack beamed at him, showing off his incredibly white set of teeth.  
‘What are you doing here?,’ Ianto called down to him.  
‘I guess I neglected to tell you that I’m having a bash tonight and you’re supposed to come,’ Jack said nonchalantly.  
Ianto raised his eyebrow at Jack.  
‘I obviously missed the telepathic invitation.’  
His friend laughed. ‘You’ll learn how not to miss it in the future, you’ll see.’ He paused, and his smile faltered. His head dropped as he bit his lip and dug his hands deep into his pockets. ‘So... Are you coming?’ He dared a glance at Ianto from under his lashes and added a crooked, though unconvincing grin.  
‘I was kinda busy with homework, and I had plans for the evening, but I suppose I could alter them a little,’ Ianto said, carefully taking his gaze as far away from Jack as possible. He couldn’t keep up the pretence long, though, and as soon as he looked at the other boy again, he cracked. The expression of true uncertainty and expectation was so unlike Jack that even if Ianto hadn’t been about to agree to going, he would have changed his mind. He rolled his eyes, trying to suppress a smile. ‘God, just wait a minute, will you?’  
Jack’s face lit up.  
‘Sure thing.’ Another huge grin flashed before he jumped back into the car.  
Ianto straightened abruptly and jumped to his closet to grab a jacket and some trainers. But then he stopped himself just as suddenly, with his hand on the closet door. Why the rush? Why the loud pounding of his heart in his ears? Why couldn’t he be simply glad he didn’t have to spend another night stuck at home, watching dumb American television? It was like suddenly everything he had ever felt before became a weak imitation of the emotions he was feeling now.  
There was no way he was going to let it show to Jack, though. He gathered his things slowly, carefully measuring each step and each movement, allowing the time to pass, making it look like he wasn’t desperate to get out of the house and into that old car waiting for him.  
Finally, there was nothing else that could help him stall anymore. He went out of his room, closing the door slowly and headed down the stairs. His mother was in the kitchen, busy baking something, looking almost like a perfect fifties’ housewife with her impeccably pressed apron over her tailored smart beige dress and her freshly done hair.  
‘Mam? I’m going out,’ Ianto said.  
‘With Myfanwy?,’ she asked without looking around.  
‘Er- No. Er, actually I’m going to a party.’  
She spun around at that, her eyebrows risen.  
‘What party? Whose party?’  
‘A- a friend’s, from school.’  
His mother’s eyes turned into slits.  
‘You didn’t mention you’ve made friends already. Are that friend’s parents going to be there?’  
Ianto paused for a second before answering, hoping he could come up with the most effective way to convince her not to make a fuss.  
‘Not sure. Jack’s the son of a senator, actually. So it’s gonna be fine, I s’pose they’re pretty high class.’  
She was still eyeing him suspiciously.  
‘Which senator?’  
‘Jeremiah Harkness. He’s GOP.’  
Mrs. Jones nodded, ‘I think I’ve heard the name before. Fine, go, just be decent!’  
‘Promise.’  
He caught himself that he almost ran to the front door, so he took a deep breath before walking out to steady himself. He measured his steps, trying to look as relaxed as possible. But he still puffed out the air from his lungs a little too loudly when he finally settled himself in the passenger seat of Jack’s coupé.  
‘Hi,’ Jack said, as if they hadn’t seen each other earlier.  
‘Hi,’ Ianto responded meekly. ‘Sorry I kept you waiting, I had to take care of some stuff before I left.’  
‘I don’t mind.’ Jack flashed his brilliantly white smile and started the car. ‘So what were the plans you had for tonight?’  
Ianto glued his gaze to the road before them.  
‘Er- Sleeping, mostly.’ He glanced at Jack quickly to see his mouth curving gently. He didn’t look at him long enough to notice Jack glanced back at him right after he turned his head away. ‘I was just trying to sound cooler than I am, I guess,’ Ianto added in a mumble.  
‘You don’t have to.’ Ianto jerked his head back around to look at Jack. ‘You’re cool enough for me.’  
Feeling the heat of a blush rushing to his cheeks, Ianto turned away, but he knew that Jack was still watching him, and he could swear he heard a stifled laugh. Then the engine coughed and started, and the car began moving.  
‘So- er, who’s coming to the party?,’ Ianto asked, doing his best impression of someone excellent at chit-chat.  
‘Well, um- you, for one. Owen, Tosh, Gwen. That’s about it.’ Jack shrugged. ‘There are always others, but I never invite them, they just show up and crash the party every time.’  
Ianto gazed at Jack, taking advantage of the fact that he was watching the road and navigating swiftly through the streets. His face didn’t look much like that of your average teenager throwing a bash at their place while their parents were away. There was no over-the-top excitement at the adultness and illegal nature of the event; he was oddly, serenely content. Still cocky and disarmingly charming, but mostly he seemed simply happy.  
‘Aren’t you upset they keep crashing your parties?,’ Ianto said inquisitively.  
‘Why would I be? This is how I get to spend quality time outside of school with the people I actually care about, and at the same time the people at school kinda believe I’m popular, so I’ve gotten myself a reputation for nothing.’  
‘Partying with a bunch of wasted and baked strangers is quality time with the people you care about?’ Ianto raised an eyebrow dubiously.  
Jack rolled his eyes dramatically. ‘You’ll see what I mean.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember how I said I'd update once a week? Well, stuff piled up, preventing me from posting a chapter earlier (and writing, too, ugh). I'll try to update within a week this time, though!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


	5. Chapter 5

It had been pretty clear to Ianto that Jack lived in a wealthy neighbourhood, but still the sight of the enormous iron gate and the long driveway leading to a huge manor surprised him. He gaped at the house, suddenly intimidated.  
‘N- nice digs,’ he stammered finally.  
‘Thanks, but I hate it here,’ Jack replied with a grin. ‘Kinda feels like living in Buckingham Palace or something, and I never aspired to be a prince.’  
They stopped the car in front of a huge garage door (Ianto estimated that at least six cars could easily fit inside), and stepped out onto the bricked driveway. Only then could they hear muffled sounds of music with a heavy bass line thumping and people talking and laughing in the house. They walked in, Jack completely at ease, ignoring the group of strangers that jumped to greet him at the door, and Ianto cautious and self-conscious, following close at Jack’s heels.  
They crossed the dark, crowded hall to find Owen, Tosh and Gwen occupying the open dining area that others seemed to be keeping clear of. The girls were gossiping quietly on one side of the large table, while Owen was rocking himself on the hind legs of his chair, sipping bourbon from the bottle. Seeing the new arrivals, he raised his drink in greeting, almost losing balance.  
‘Look who’s here!’  
Tosh and Gwen dropped their conversation to say hello to Ianto, and without a second’s delay, he was handed a drink (he wasn’t sure what it was, since the lighting was poor and his intimate knowledge of alcoholic beverages limited to lager and ale; it tasted bitter and smokey, so he figured it must have been whiskey or something similar).  
‘Now you’re officially one of us,’ said Tosh, raising her glass to clink on Ianto’s.  
‘I’m not sure I want to know what that means,’ he said.  
Jack laughed, throwing his coat carelessly over the back of a chair and proceeding to pour himself a drink.  
‘It just means we’re going to corrupt you, no worries.’  
‘This is exactly what I’m worried about,’ Ianto mumbled, taking a sip from his glass; it burned slightly in his throat.  
Soon they abandoned the chairs and settled on throw pillows on the floor, watching all the uninvited guests entertain themselves in the spacious open living room and exchanging latest pieces of gossip about them. Whenever Ianto didn’t know something, they offered him an explanation.  
Around eleven, they were all a little tipsy (Owen a lot more than a little). Gwen rested her head in Owen’s lap, while Toshiko was leaning on his shoulder, leaving Jack and Ianto out of their little group. They exchanged a look, and Ianto was glad the room was so dark, otherwise his burning cheeks would give away how awkward he was feeling. But then, Jack swiftly laid down, putting his head in Ianto’s lap, making him gasp.  
‘Are you serious?,’ Ianto asked, raising his eyebrows incredulously.  
‘What? You make quite a nice pillow.’  
‘Do I now?’ He wasn’t sure if that was going to remain so, though. The reaction he was experiencing was something he didn’t quite expect.  
He desperately needed a distraction from the fact that Jack Harkness was pretty much lying in his lap.  
Ianto swiped the room, trying to find something to take his mind of the warmth on his thighs and the burning in his lower stomach. He was in luck.  
‘Jack, look who’s here,’ he said quietly to his friend, motioning his head to the person who’d just entered the room.  
‘Huh, I didn’t think he’d come after last Monday,’ Jack said, turning to his side to watch John Hart wander up to some busty girl nursing her drink by the white grand piano.  
‘Working on disproving any rumours that might pop up, I guess,’ Ianto shrugged, though he didn’t feel like shrugging at all.  
‘I guess,’ Jack agreed, then jumped to his feet. ‘Time to go upstairs.’  
He extended a hand to help Ianto up.  
‘Why?’  
‘Best part of the night, away from all those morons.’  
Ianto hesitated for another second, then took Jack’s hand; it was warm and surprisingly soft.  
‘Are we going upstairs?,’ Gwen asked hazily.  
‘Yup, come on,’ Jack replied with his trademark smile. He still hadn’t let go of Ianto’s hand.  
The others scrambled to their feet and made a bee line after Jack and Ianto (who didn’t even try to shake Jack’s grip off; deep down he was hoping it would never end). They reached the first floor landing, and Ianto expected them to turn to one of the several doors there, but they continued two more storeys up. They stopped there in front of a door and Jack turned to them ceremoniously, one hand on the door knob, the other still clutching Ianto’s.  
‘Welcome to the Attic,’ he said, looking at his newest friend.  
‘With a capital A,’ Tosh added.  
‘Well, that’s according to her,’ Jack allowed and pushed the door open.  
There were a few more steps leading up to the actual room, which – from what Ianto had seen so far – was the most normal part of the house. The wallpaper was old and peeling in places, but most of the walls were covered in various posters anyway. The posters were anything from pictures of the Solar System to The X Files and superhero films. In the centre of the room there was an old sofa and a threadbare rug with three times as many throw pillows as there were downstairs. The walls under the sloped ceiling were lined with books, stacked one upon another with no clear sense of order. Directly opposite the door was the only window in the room, looking out on a narrow balcony and on the vast backyard. By the window, someone had put a wide range of bottles and snacks, apparently with the party in mind.  
‘This- er- This isn’t what I expected,’ Ianto said, as the door closed after them, silencing the music downstairs to a distant thumping.  
‘And what did you expect? A pool table?,’ Gwen joked.  
‘No. I just expected more of posh Republican style in interior design.’  
‘Oh, believe me, they tried that,’ Jack laughed, and settled himself comfortably on the couch with the bottle he’d snatched from under the window. ‘I wouldn’t let them, they don’t even have the key to the room anymore.’  
Ianto was the only one who was still standing up, fixed to the spot, listening to Jack. The others had already found their favourite pillows, sat or laid down with a drink or a bag of crisps, as he took in the place. It was very Jack, like his coat, his vintage car and his 1940s Hollywood star smile. It was messy and disorganised, and intimidating in a way, but at the same time strangely cosy. It was also revealing another layer of Jack, one that he didn’t anticipate to find under the confident and disarmingly handsome exterior; one of knowledge, intelligence, bookishness and nerdiness that didn’t usually go together with that kind of attractiveness or seeming self-assurance.  
He was trying to decipher the titles on the spines of the books by the nearest wall, when he felt someone tugging at the sleeve of his shirt. His eyes dropped immediately to see Jack reaching as far as he could from the sofa, almost falling out of it, supporting himself on the armrest. The look on his face was that of a puppy begging for a walk, and as if under a spell, Ianto allowed to be dragged to the sofa and sat on one end, while Jack occupied the other.  
‘So what’s your story, Mr. Jones?,’ Jack asked, watching him curiously as he took another swing of whatever it was in his bottle.  
‘There’s no story.’ Ianto shrugged, staring at his hands as he tangled his fingers together anxiously. Whatever of his inhibitions alcohol had removed earlier, they were back, and he was painfully aware of his new friends’ stares fixed on him.  
‘Why did you move to DC from sunny- whatever?,’ Owen asked. ‘Oh wait, Wales. Not sunny.’ He hiccupped. Tosh looked at him tenderly.  
‘My father was offered a job, so we moved. Told you, no story to tell.’  
‘And you have a sister, right?,’ Gwen cut in.  
‘Yeah, Rhiannon, she’s 21. Again, nothing to-‘  
‘And your father’s some consultant for the Pentagon,’ Jack added.  
Ianto rolled his eyes. ‘Yeah, is this the bloody Spanish Inquisition?’  
Jack smiled crookedly, putting his bottle back to his lips. He took a sip, licked his lips (way too slowly to be considered anywhere near casual).  
‘Remember how I told you those parties are to spend time with people I care about?’ Ianto nodded. ‘This is it. The downstairs is just to keep them thinking I’m some kind of Jay Gatsby figure, only cooler. And this is what it’s about.’  
Quirking an eyebrow, Ianto eyed Jack suspiciously. ‘Were you talking to Toshiko?’  
‘Um, yeah, all the time, why?’  
‘Nothing, just the Gatsby thing reminded me something.’ He turned to Tosh, who shot him a brilliant, faux-innocent smile, and then back to their host. ‘She told you I compared you to Gatsby, didn’t she?’  
Jack took a long swing of alcohol, savouring the drink for a long moment. ‘She might have mentioned something,’ he said finally.  
‘You just can’t tell anything to any of you, huh? It will always go round the circle, like in some fucking kindergarten game.’ Ianto shook his head violently. ‘Just so you know, I’m not some Nick Carraway to treat you like a demi-god.’  
‘Does that make you Daisy?,’ Jack asked, almost as if that was his first reflex.  
It took Ianto aback a little, but he collected his thoughts enough to brush the question off.  
‘Nope, no green light around my house, sorry.’  
‘That’s too bad, you’d make a nice Daisy,’ Jack mumbled into his bottle, a smirk dancing on his lips.  
That was the end of the topic. The room went quiet for half a minute, until Gwen broke the silence with a question about Tosh’s parents. Apparently they were in the middle of a messy divorce, details of which were clearly known to the entire group, except for Ianto. At first, he was sure Toshiko would try to divert the conversation to other things, but the opposite happened, making him uncomfortable. Back home, it wasn’t the way to talk to friends. Friends were there to talk about grades and girls, and the occasional party, to backbite the teachers and peers they agreed in disliking. They definitely weren’t there to discuss their problems at home. Ianto couldn’t remember ever sharing any of his family’s dysfunctions, not his father’s authoritativeness, his mother’s unconditional obedience, their favouritism towards Rhiannon.  
And here, right in front of his disbelieving eyes, he saw the kind of friendship he never believed was possible. The kind that was a bond going beyond common likes and dislikes, but embraced the other person as they were, their light and dark side, their good traits as well as their flaws, and their problems, no matter how petty or how serious they were. It was something Ianto had never witnessed before – and the last thing he expected to see in a group of privileged American teenagers: unselfishness.  
They listened to each other carefully (or at least as attentively as the copious amounts of alcohol they’d consumed allowed them), they gave advice whenever required, and Ianto watched them in awe.  
Eventually, only Tosh and Owen were left talking. They were half-lying on a stack of pillows, facing each other, and Owen was absent-mindedly playing with a strand of Toshiko’s hair as they shared divorce stories. She seemed to have forgotten that the topic they were discussing wasn’t a happy one, and she gazed at her friend as if he was the most perfect human being to grace the Earth. (He was looking far from that, to be honest, with the hazy look of someone who had a massive hangover guaranteed for the next day.) Gwen had been nursing a drink for a long time, and Ianto drew the conclusion that she was a sad drunk.  
All the while, the person Jack was paying the most attention to (and who had spent the entire time pretending it wasn’t the case) was Ianto. He was watching him with the expression of a museum-goer contemplating a Picasso. As if he was tracing every line and curve, trying to form a coherent picture out of them.  
Ianto did his best to ignore him, and as long as he had Tosh and Owen’s conversation to distract him, he succeeded. But then, Owen dozed off, leaving him without a distraction. He decided to stretch his legs and went to one of the book piles. He was almost painfully aware of Jack’s eyes following his every movement.  
He was half-expecting to see a collection of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s work, accompanied by other highlights of North American literature. What he found wasn’t even fiction. At least that’s what he assumed as he read through the titles. The words that seemed to recur were things like wormholes, spacetime, relativity and – slightly intimidatingly – quantum mechanics. The only author he had ever heard of was Stephen Hawking.  
Trying to make sense of the apparent interest Jack had in time and space issues, Ianto’s focus drifted away to the boy himself. The more he was finding out about him, the less Ianto felt like he knew him at all. The enigma that was Jack Harkness only seemed to grow while it was becoming clearer and clearer that the cocky exterior was just a shield to keep people at arm’s length.  
Or at least, most people.  
‘Anything interesting?,’ Jack’s voice came from right behind him, and Ianto jumped.  
‘You tell me,’ he said, as soon as he could find his voice. ‘I know nothing about quantum- whatever.’  
‘Mechanics,’ Jack offered. ‘It is interesting actually.’  
Ianto turned swiftly to face him. There was something about the sound of Jack’s voice that made him think there was more to the books than mere interest in science.  
‘Probably,’ Ianto said carefully. ‘But I’m not sure I’d understand any of it.’  
Jack smirked and leaned towards him, leaving barely a couple inches between their faces.  
‘I bet you’d get it just fine.’  
‘Right,’ Ianto said stupidly, those blue eyes way too close, muddling his brain.  
As if he had just accomplished something, Jack smiled triumphantly and moved gracefully away, taking a step to the next pile. He didn’t speak again for a long moment, absently running a finger across some of his clearly much-read collection. Sometimes he paused at one of the worn spines for a second, as if lingering on a memory the book brought back. It was Ianto’s turn to observe, and he couldn’t take his eyes off Jack, his soft movements that didn’t match his tall figure and broad shoulders, his profile barely visible in the dim light.  
Behind them, Tosh was lying next to Owen, finally giving in to sleepiness, and watching the two boys in the corner whisper and then fall silent. Her lips pulled up at the corners and she thought to herself that these two were made for each other. She wasn’t even sure why it crossed her mind, but it rang true. So she let her eyelids finally drop, giving the two some more privacy. She could hear Gwen breathing steadily behind her, a sign she’d fallen asleep as well.  
‘So what is all this about?,’ Ianto asked, waving at the books. ‘All this quantum mechanics and stuff?’  
‘Time travel,’ Jack said simply, his face serious.  
‘Honestly? Time travel? Like The Time Machine?’  
Jack’s expression stayed solemn. ‘More like The Butterfly Effect,’ he said, almost inaudibly, tracing his fingers over the smooth hard cover of one of the biggest volumes. ‘Have you ever wanted to go back in time to change something?’  
‘I guess... Doesn’t everyone want to change something in their past? Or a lot of somethings, I suppose.’  
‘Only some somethings are bigger than other somethings,’ Jack muttered, as if to himself.  
The conversation ended, leaving them silent in the room. The only sounds where the ones coming from the party downstairs. Ianto thought that maybe this was the time to leave, but instead, Jack beckoned him back to the couch. They stayed quiet, careful not to wake the others, and knowing words were unnecessary. They sat down next to each other, their sides touching. Jack glanced at his friend briefly, to see if it was okay, and laid his head on Ianto’s shoulder. The touch felt like an electric current. Instinctively, without thinking, Ianto reached with his hand for one of Jack’s. He twined their fingers together, Jack’s hand warm and soft to the touch.  
Jack lifted his head to look at Ianto queryingly, but the latter only smiled at him softly and kissed him on the forehead. He wasn’t even entirely sure why he was doing these things, but ever since their conversation about the books, that serious look in Jack’s face seemed to be saying that he desperately needed to be comforted.  
And since Ianto didn’t know what the problem was, he gave Jack all he had – his presence.  
‘Maybe you should get some sleep?,’ Ianto suggested in a whisper.  
‘Maybe,’ Jack agreed. His gaze dropped to their hands. ‘Mind if I-?’  
‘Get your hand back? Sure.’  
He began untangling his fingers from Jack before he felt the other boy was squeezing his hand tighter.  
‘No. Can we- stay like this?’  
Ianto looked into the big sad blue eyes, and there was just one correct answer.  
‘Yeah.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, new chapter! More to come soon, I guess. I'm writing whenever free time coincides with inspiration.  
> Thank you soooo much for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

Ianto woke up to the distant chirrup of early birds, quiet snores coming from Tosh and Owen, and deep breathing right next to his ear. He could feel Jack’s weight still leaning against his side, and Jack’s hand clutched in his own. Waking up next to someone like that felt odd. He had never really slept with someone this way, holding and keeping each other close. All of his sexual experiences with Lisa had been rushed and followed by quick goodbyes right before one or the other’s parents were due to come back home. They had never really shared a bed, never got the chance to wake to the sight of the other.  
And even though Ianto used to regret he didn’t get to have that with her, now he was glad the first person he ever woke up to see was Jack.  
It was different, obviously, much different from what he had imagined waking up next to someone would be. Before, he would imagine opening his eyes in the bright sunlight of a lazy morning and seeing Lisa’s dark silky skin flush against his, snuggled so close to him that only the paleness of his own complexion would tell him where she ended and he began. He would imagine remembering the amazing sex they would have had the night before, before falling asleep in each other’s arms.  
The reality was so far removed from what he used to dream up, he began wondering if he even knew himself anymore.  
Because he woke up to see this fully-clothed boy, holding his hand exactly the same way he had when they decided it was time to sleep. Because even though he could clearly see the physical line where their bodies were touching, their breathing was in sync, despite Jack still being asleep, and Ianto awake. Because even though they had not done anything remotely sexual the previous night, there was a strange intimacy in spending a night like this that made Ianto feel closer to Jack than he had ever felt to Lisa.  
He just wished Jack had felt close enough to him to share what had been on his mind that stole all the happiness from his eyes that night.  
It took Ianto a moment to remember there had been a party at the house. Now, the building seemed completely still. Careful not to wake Jack up, he dug out his phone from his pocket to check the time. It was a couple of minutes after seven; the partiers must have been long gone.  
Ianto wasn’t sure what woke him; if it was the growing numbness in his shoulder, or the newness of the place. The others were still fast asleep, clearly unbothered by sleeping on nothing more than a few pillows and a carpet over the wooden floor. He thought that they had to be used to nights like that.  
He was just watching Toshiko and Owen, sleeping peacefully side by side (it seemed that they had unconsciously drifted towards each other, almost snuggling; Ianto’s lips tugged up into a little smile at that), when he felt Jack stir beside him. He turned his head to him, still smiling. Jack’s eyes fluttered open.  
‘Hi,’ he murmured, a dopey smile appearing almost automatically on his face.  
‘Er, hi,’ Ianto whispered in response, trying not to wake the rest. He’d expected to feel much more awkward after spending the night next to Jack like that, but he felt as comfortable as ever, even with half of his body numb from not moving. ‘I didn’t wake you, did I?’  
Jack shook his head and rubbed his eyes with his free hand.  
‘Nah. I don’t sleep much anyway. It’s a first to have someone wake up before me, though.’  
He straightened in his seat, and his eyes fell to their hands still locked together between them. He shot a glance up at Ianto as he unconsciously held his breath. With a stroke of a thumb over the back of Ianto’s hand, he let it go.  
Ianto felt as if he’d just lost something.  
‘I have to say, you make for a really good sleeping companion,’ Jack said with a grin.  
‘Thanks, I guess. Although I’m offended I’m not the best sleeping companion, since I let you cut off circulation in my whole right side for the last four hours.’  
‘Can’t tell. You’re my first.’  
Ianto raised his eyebrows, unbelieving. ‘Seriously? All those hook-ups, and you never actually slept with anyone?’  
‘In the sense of actually sleeping and cuddling, and stuff, never. In the other sense, well, you know the answer.’  
‘Then I’m honoured,’ Ianto said, bowing his head slightly. ‘Hope you slept well, anyway.’  
‘I did, thank you,’ Jack replied, shifting in the sofa to sit cross-legged, facing Ianto. ‘And sorry for immobilising you.’  
‘I survived.’  
They fell silent, maintaining eye contact and never stopping smiling, softly and understatedly, but with their whole faces.  
‘Did you like the party, then?,’ Jack asked, quirking an eyebrow playfully.  
‘Well, I liked what the party turned out to be,’ said Ianto, leaning his head back against the couch (he was glad to discover he was not hungover). ‘Thanks for- you know- having me, and all that.’  
‘All what?’ Jack put his arm on the back of the sofa as near Ianto’s face as he could, and propped his chin on his wrist.  
‘I’m not sure if you noticed, but I was kinda- a friendless loser around here before.’ He winced against his will.  
Jack shrugged. ‘You were the new guy, what did you expect? But I guess not everyone is as fortunate as you to be integrated into the in-crowd so soon.’ He flashed his teeth in a grin.  
‘Ooh, then I’m part of the in-crowd now, huh?’ Ianto made a faux-impressed face.  
‘Of the in-crowd that matters.’  
There was not a trace of mockery in Jack’s expression, and it took Ianto a moment to grasp that. But he supposed that if, for whatever reason, fate were to throw him to another continent, this time, his phone would not stay silent for long.  
‘Thanks,’ he said quietly.  
In response, Jack smiled the shiest of smiles that Ianto had ever seen on his face, before reaching to cup Ianto’s cheek in his hand and placing the most chaste of kisses on his lips.  
‘You’re welcome.’  
The surprise of the kiss knocked the air out of Ianto’s lungs, but he did not recoil from the touch of Jack’s lips on his. All he managed, when his friend leant back, turning his eyes away to the others still sleeping on the floor, was to smile inanely at nothing in particular. He had no idea what to think of what had just happened, and he did his best to push it as far back into the depth of his mind as it would go.  
***  
Ianto got back home around ten. His parents were far from happy to see him return from a party this late, but they were appeased when he explained that the party turned into a sleepover towards the end. He did his best to keep it casual as he talked to them, just as he had for the remainder of his stay in the Harkness residence, even though his brain kept on cramming images back into his consciousness.  
Finally, he shut his bedroom door behind him, and closed his eyes, his back against the thick piece of wood separating him from everyone else in the almost completely still house.  
There were two thoughts warring in his head, fighting for his attention. One (this was one of the best nights in my life, they like me, I have friends here, I’m not such a loser anymore) was making him giddy with excitement and joy. The other (what the hell was that supposed to mean? Did I kiss him back? Did I like it? How am I supposed to act now?) was weighing heavily on his chest, smothering the feelings brought on by the first.  
And then, there came another thought, striking between the other two, and winning unexpectedly.  
What happened to Jack?  
It was becoming clearer and clearer that there was something in Jack’s past that made him the way he was; extremely introverted, hiding behind the mask of confidence, outgoingness, and Hollywood teeth, melancholic beyond his years, appreciative of real, profound, selfless friendship, dismissive of pretence. What was the one thing that he wished he could change? The one thing he wanted to turn back time for?  
Ianto shuffled his feet towards his desk and opened his laptop. It came back to life with a whizz, and before Ianto could stop himself, he went to his Internet browser and typed in a query. It was simple, a first name and a last name. Just a little search that was sure to get him no answers whatsoever. His finger hovered over the enter button.  
What if whatever had happened to Jack was in there? What if he was the only one who had no idea? What if that one downward move of his finger was going to give him the answer?  
Did he want to get the answer like this?  
He hesitated for another moment, and closed the window.  
If Jack had wanted him to know, he would have told him. If he wanted, he could still tell him.  
And Ianto hoped he would. Some day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if you wanted some more heated action, but I'm a sucker for slow development. But rest assured, the situation is developing the right direction.
> 
> Also, you might notice that I love Tosh & Owen, so you can expect little bits of them here and there.
> 
> I'll try to be quick with the next update!


	7. Chapter 7

Monday morning was awkward. Only on Ianto’s part, but still, it felt as if something major had shifted between him and his new friends. It took him as long as until lunch to figure out that the change wasn’t bad at all. If it was even possible anymore, he felt more included. Maybe being kissed by Jack was a form of initiation after all.  
And as time passed, with every day and every week, he felt more and more at home. Soon, there were hardly any inside jokes that slipped him, hardly anything that he wasn’t accustomed to in his friends’ behaviour, and hardly any innuendo that would shock him. There was also hardly any class in which he wouldn’t have a partner if necessity for one arose, and hardly any weekend he’d spend locked up alone in his room.  
As Toshiko had told him, every other Saturday they would go to the Harkness residence to witness (and backbite) a large group of their peers get themselves drunk and make fools of themselves, just to retreat to the Attic after a couple of hours to talk and, occasionally, make fools of themselves, too. Only no one would laugh at them there.  
The Attic became a safe place for Ianto. He still had Rock Creek Park and his walks with Myfanwy to clear his head, but the Attic was something else. Unlike the park, it was a place where for once he truly felt he wasn’t alone.  
That, unconsciously, was one of the reasons why Ianto’s visits to the Harkness household became much more frequent than bi-weekly. Whether accompanied by Tosh, Owen, Gwen, or no one at all, he came by Jack’s several times a week, mostly with the honest intention of studying. Usually, though, their time together was spent watching movies or simply talking or joking around, procrastinating all the schoolwork they had been assigned.  
As willing as Ianto was to spend as much of his free time as possible with his friends, he was reluctant to have them around at his place. He had a feeling that his family had a slightly different image of the group made up in their heads, and he had no intention of putting them right. Even more so due to the fact that, although his relationship with Jack had been nothing but platonic since that kiss back in March, he continued to be utterly baffled by the intensity of the effect Jack had on him. He wasn’t even able to say what the effect was exactly, he just knew there was one.  
And his need to keep his friends away from his house intensified one Sunday morning, at a party-free weekend, when he snatched a piece of toast in a rush to get for a study date at Jack’s, and Rhiannon eyed him suspiciously.  
‘You know, the last time I saw you in such a hurry to get out the door was when you were running to see Lisa,’ she said with a smirk.  
‘Ha-ha,’ he responded sarcastically.  
But he was sure she kept watching him, and saw right through him. He didn’t need his sister to tell him what he was acting like. He was fully aware that he had been putting Jack and the others ahead of anything else, and whenever he was going out to see Jack, he was extra careful about the way he looked, and got fidgety if he was running late.  
He didn’t think about it, though. Or at least, he did his best not to.  
And often enough, other things preoccupied them, providing Ianto with a much needed distraction. In April, one of the famous bashes saw the beginning of a new love, one that – though maybe not the most profound, and certainly not reciprocated – was definitely persistent. The guy’s name was Rhys Williams and he’d been in the same Economy class with Gwen since the start of the school year. His position in the Banneker pecking order wasn’t a very prominent one, partly because he wasn’t one of the wealthiest students, and partly because of his slight awkwardness around people, and the fact that his chubby form wasn’t found attractive enough by the self-proclaimed elite of the school. That was also the reason for his constant single status, as well as for the fact that it took five beers and a few shots for him to even consider mustering his courage to talk to Gwen.  
Needless to say, the Attic was a tad emptier that night, since Gwen had retreated to one of the guest bedrooms with Rhys following all too eagerly in her footsteps.  
And although her friends expected her to go out with the poor guy after the drunken hook-up, she only waved her hand dismissively when asked about him. Ianto thought she was being unfair, and Rhys deserved a chance, but he kept his mouth shut. It wasn’t his business after all. His friend could make decisions on her own.  
Gwen wasn’t the only one who didn’t always make it to the Attic with the others. Owen was the one who disappeared most often, although never for too long; every time he did, Tosh became quiet and withdrawn. No one ever commented on that, so Ianto never said anything either.  
And then there was this one time when Jack sneaked out of the dining room and up the back staircase, followed stealthily by John Hart and Ianto’s gaze. Before anyone suggested going upstairs, Hart came back down the main stairs, and Jack returned to his previous place next to Ianto. His face was unreadable (and Ianto hoped so was his own).  
Later that night, Gwen and Owen got into a loud and laughter-filled conversation about Mr Harris, the famed Algebra teacher at BBAHS. Gwen walked around the Attic, a little wobbly from all the vodka tonics she’d had, making a remarkably good impression of the middle-aged pot-bellied man. Owen roared with laughter, and Toshiko giggled in sync with him. Ianto was enjoying himself (having already suffered long tough hours in the disliked teacher’s classroom), until he noticed Jack was being unusually quiet and pensive.  
Finally, Jack got up without a word, heading to the narrow balcony. He dug out a joint and a lighter from his pocket, and lit it up. He was too preoccupied, either by the weed or his thoughts, to realise Ianto had followed him and was leaning on the doorframe.  
‘What’s up with you and Hart?,’ Ianto asked quietly.  
‘Nothing.’ Jack shrugged and puffed out a large cloud of smoke, before offering the joint to his friend.  
Taking it between his fingers, Ianto took a step to join Jack at the railing.  
‘Then why are you upset after disappearing upstairs with him?’ He tried to ignore the pang of jealousy; if it even was jealousy.  
‘You saw that, huh?’ Jack chuckled without humour. ‘So damn perceptive.’  
‘So?’  
Jack sighed. ‘It really is nothing. He’s just an annoying little dick.’  
‘I gather you mean that literally,’ Ianto deadpanned.  
That made Jack laugh with amusement (which admittedly, made Ianto feel better, too).  
‘Nah, and that’s probably his only charm. That, and the cheekbones.’  
‘Why is he annoying, then?’  
Jack took back the weed, inhaled it slowly, clearly deciding how to word his reply.  
‘I don’t- No, I hate guys like him. Guys like him are what I despise about this town the most.’  
‘Which is...?’  
‘Two-faced lying bastards.’  
‘He lied to you?,’ Ianto asked, suddenly feeling like he was being choked. This conversation was taking the exact turn he didn’t want it to take. Feelings. Jack’s feelings.  
But Jack only shrugged his shoulders and smirked.  
‘No, and I wouldn’t care. It’s not like we’re boyfriends. I just hate how he’s lying to everyone else for someone who wouldn’t do the same for him.’  
‘His father?’  
‘Yeah,’ Jack said. ‘See, there was this thing with him, he almost got kicked out of school last year. Idiot got caught on a DUI, his father didn’t care what would happen to him, said it was John’s problem, not his. If it wasn’t for his mom, he’d be fucked. She’s a decent human being, though, she pulled some strings for him. And it’s not like he didn’t know he screwed up, he did. He hasn’t driven a car since. But he still keeps on protecting his father’s ass, even after he screwed him over. He just likes the money too much I guess. He’d do anything for it.’  
Ianto nodded quietly, reaching for the joint and taking a drag.  
‘I think I get what you mean. You like him?’  
‘Depends on what you mean.’  
‘You know what I mean,’ Ianto said, keeping his eyes fixed on the trees on the far edge of the property.  
‘No. Not really, he’s a friend. We’ve known each other since we were kids. And he’s just- a nice distraction.’  
Ianto eventually turned his eyes to his friend again. Now it was Jack who was averting his gaze, suddenly fascinated by his hands.  
‘Distraction from what?,’ Ianto asked softly.  
‘Stuff. Nothing important.’ The shrug that followed seemed a bit too prominent to be convincing.  
Instinctively, Ianto took a step in Jack’s direction, slowly closing in on him and reaching out to make him look at him.  
‘Nothing important my arse.’  
‘Ianto-‘ Jack flinched away from him, backing away to the far end of the balcony. ‘Just- Please. It’s not- Not something I like to talk about.’  
Ianto bit his lip, fighting the urge to follow him. He stayed put; it seemed Jack needed the space.  
‘D’you-,’ Ianto hesitated. ‘Do you consider me a friend?’  
Jack looked up at him with a frown.  
‘Of course. Why?’  
‘It’s just- You know you can tell me anything? That you can trust me with anything? You know that, don’t you?’  
To Ianto’s surprise, Jack smiled warmly at him and crossed the little distance between them to cup his cheek in his hand.  
‘ I do. And I trust you. That’s not the issue. I’m the issue.’ His expression turned to one of sadness and he dropped his hand, before turning to the door.  
‘Jack?,’ Ianto heard himself say. He wasn’t entirely sure if his brain even took part in deciding to speak again. ‘I- I can wait for you to be ready to talk about it. You can though. Talk to me about it. When you’re ready.’  
‘I know.’  
They both stopped. Without fully realising it, they became perfectly still, their breaths held, their eyes fixed on the other. Until they felt the oxygen running out and they simultaneously gasped for air. Jack wobbled and clutched the door tightly to keep his balance. As soon as he did, he was gone, back in the dim-lit room, full of laughter.  
Ianto realised he was still holding the joint, now almost completely burnt out and barely showing any signs of being lit. He tossed it impatiently into the ashtray they always kept next to the door. As much as he loved spending time in the Attic with his friends, he couldn’t help but wish to stay alone with Jack. So that he could persuade him to tell him everything he’d been holding back, and show him in any possible way that he was there for him.  
He propped his arms on the railing with a sigh. He dug the heels of his hands into his eyes, trying to wipe away their growing itchiness. What wouldn’t he give for a couple of quiet hours with Jack. To talk. Or maybe to cuddle. It didn’t really matter. Their friendship so far had been more than he had ever had before, so much deeper and so much more earnest, and so overwhelming, yet it still felt like he needed more. More time with Jack. More information about Jack. More of Jack’s smiles and laughter. More of Jack’s quiet pensive moments. More of Jack.  
The door behind him opened with the tiniest of creaks, and he turned rapidly in hope that it was Jack coming back. To his disappointment, he saw Owen dragging his feet to the railing next to him. He was still chuckling under his breath.  
‘T’s up?,’ he said, stopping next to Ianto, and casually undoing the zipper in his jeans. (It wasn’t the first time Ianto witnessed Owen using the balcony as an emergency toilet, but it still made him slightly uneasy.)  
‘Nothing much,’ Ianto mumbled, turning around and leaning his back on the railing. His eyes found Jack on the other side of the French door, sitting on the couch with Gwen curled up at his feet, and talking to Tosh animatedly. Ianto’s lips curled up; he knew the looks on their faces. Toshiko’s was all lit up with the kind of enthusiasm that only showed up on it when she was talking about something related to science. Jack’s was much more serious, but just as enthralled by the subject.  
‘God, you too?,’ he heard Owen say to his left, and frowned at him.  
‘Me too what?’  
Owen rolled his eyes prominently as he fixed his clothes.  
‘First Gwen, now you, not to mention everybody else.’ He sighed dramatically. ‘Everyone’s falling head over heels for Jack. Always Jack. Never me.’ He considered what he said for a moment. ‘Maybe it’s the bone structure. Mine’s kinda- I don’t know? Neanderthal-like?’  
Ianto’s frown deepened at first, then he just raised his eyebrows incredulously at Owen. He wasn’t even going to comment on the first part of what his friend had said, hoping to get off the topic of him falling head over heels for Jack altogether (he’d rather not discuss it for as long as he had no idea what it was himself).  
‘Your bone structure’s fine,’ he assured Owen.  
‘You think so?’ The boy was now pressing his cheekbones and jaw line as if he was expecting them to give and change shape.  
‘Yeah.’ Ianto hesitated, biting his lip. ‘And honestly, how can you think it’s never you?’  
‘Huh?’ He sent him a questioning look. ‘Sure, I get some here and there, but not like, you know, crazy amounts or anything.’  
With a half-annoyed, half-amused chuckle, Ianto pushed himself off the railing, heading for the French door.  
‘Seriously, I think you’re kinda blind.’  
‘My eyesight is perfect, thank you very much, Mr Englishman.’  
‘Oi!,’ Ianto said indignantly, but he knew Owen said it just to tease him (even if he hadn’t, the guy’s smirk was telling). But then his face turned more serious. ‘I mean it, look around you. Some things are closer than they seem.’  
Not waiting for another response, he spun around to reach the door.  
‘Pot kettle black, Englishman!,’ Owen called after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait again, but I've been busy and just as lazy as always. I've been writing a bit though, so the story is progressing, no worries.


	8. Chapter 8

Apart from Jack consistently picking Ianto up before every Saturday party, not one of his friends ever came to his house. It wasn’t something anyone paid any attention to, since most of the time they were hanging out at Jack’s anyway.  
Until one evening, Gwen showed up unannounced on his doorstep, biting her lip anxiously. Ianto was the one to open the door before her, and froze in surprise.  
‘Gwen? What are you doing here?’  
‘Sorry I didn’t call or anything. Do you have a moment?’ She twisted a strand of her hair on one of her fingers. Something was clearly bothering her.  
Ianto looked around nervously, unsure what it was that Gwen wanted to say. He was worried that she wanted to talk to him about Jack, and his doorstep (or his house in general) didn’t seem like the place to have a conversation about him.  
‘Yeah, sure. Er- do you mind if we walked Myfanwy? I need to do that anyway.’  
She nodded. ‘That’s fine.’  
‘I’ll just get her and her leash.’  
Five minutes later they were walking towards Rock Creek Park, Myfanwy tugging Ianto forward by the leash, eager to get to her favourite spot. For a while they were silent as Gwen put what she wanted to say together in her head.  
‘I know you think I’m being a bitch,’ she said finally. She hugged her arms to her chest protectively.  
‘What?! No!,’ Ianto protested. ‘What are you talking about?’  
‘Rhys?’ She winced.  
Ianto wheezed in a breath.  
‘Oh, yeah, then you’re kinda being a bitch,’ he admitted. ‘Sorry.’  
Gwen sighed loudly. ‘I know, don’t be sorry.’ She hesitated for a moment. ‘Why are you all so determined to persuade me to go out with him?’  
He’d discussed the topic with Tosh extensively in the last couple of weeks. Owen had mentioned something about her being less annoying when she was getting laid on a regular basis. Jack barely even acknowledged the existence of Gwen’s admirer. Ianto rubbed his eyes, wishing to open them again to find he wasn’t in this awkward position with her anymore.  
‘Because he seems like a nice guy, and you blew him off before anything even happened?,’ he offered. ‘It’s not like you care if the guy you’re dating is popular or not.’  
She sent him a dubious stare.  
‘You don’t think this has anything to do with that?’  
They were just crossing 16th Street North West to one of the park entrances, so he used it to delay his answer.  
‘No, I don’t think it’s about that,’ he said finally when they found themselves on the opposite side and entered the park.  
Gwen stopped abruptly and grabbed Ianto’s elbow to twist him around to face her. Her hazel eyes looked twice as big as normally, and stared at him almost angrily.  
‘Cut the crap, Ianto. You know why I’ve been acting like this, right?’  
He used all his power of will to look her in the eye as he replied.  
‘Because you’re in love with Jack.’  
She took a step back relieved, but at the same time she shrunk as if the words terrified her. They kept staring at each other for another long moment, as Myfanwy sniffed around completely uninterested in them.  
‘Yeah,’ Gwen said quietly, dropping her eyes to her feet.  
‘Does he know?’  
Peeking up at Ianto, she shook her head.  
‘The thing about Jack is that he doesn’t expect people to love him. He’s used to them falling to his feet as soon as he smiles, and he knows that we love him, as his friends, but other than that- He doesn’t think he’ll ever get that. Or that he deserves it.’  
‘Is it because of this thing that he doesn’t want to talk about? That trauma he has?’  
She nodded, turning around and starting to walk ahead again.  
‘He’ll tell you eventually. He just doesn’t want to go through this again. And he doesn’t want you to think any less of him.’  
‘Why would I?’  
‘I’m sure you wouldn’t, but you wouldn’t believe how little true self-esteem he has,’ Gwen said, a hint of sadness in her voice.  
They began making their way down the path slowly, both hyperconscious of every step they took and every word they uttered.  
‘I’d believe,’ Ianto said after a moment’s pause. ‘The self-esteem thing. He might not be the most obvious person in the universe, but some things just shine through.’  
‘And it’s not like you haven’t been paying attention.’  
Gwen glanced sideways at him, pursing her lips. She’d already shared something with him that she had never talked about with anyone, not even Tosh. It was fair enough to expect him to fess up as well. Ianto could swear his heart stopped for a second as the implication she was making sank in. She was expecting him to say something, and words were failing him.  
He distracted himself with getting Myfanwy untangled from her leash that got twisted around one of her legs. Anything to push this off.  
What was he supposed to say when he kept convincing himself there was nothing to talk about in the first place? It didn’t matter he failed every time with the convincing, he still had no answers. Nothing to say to Gwen that wouldn’t be just an enormous question mark.  
‘What do you mean?,’ he forced himself to ask.  
‘For a second there I thought we were being honest with each other. You know, like friends should be.’ She smiled in an attempt to lighten the mood. ‘I even let you call me a bitch. If that doesn’t spell friendship, I don’t know what does.’  
Ianto almost chuckled.  
‘I don’t know what you’re expecting me to say.’  
‘Neither do I. What would you like to tell me?,’ she challenged.  
‘I think you should go out with Rhys?,’ he offered.  
Gwen rolled her eyes. ‘Do you think telling me this over and over will get me to change my mind? ‘Cause I’m less and less inclined to do that with every time any one of you tells me to.’  
Ianto sighed. This was better than trying to discuss the thing he couldn’t discuss. He’d rather play the role of the advisor than the advisee anyway. He made his way to the closest bench, sat down and patted the space next to him invitingly. Gwen groaned, but joined him, crossing her arms.  
‘Okay, just answer me this,’ he started. ‘Do you think it could work out between you and Jack? Honest.’  
She puffed out her cheeks like a five-year-old throwing a tantrum and closed her eyes. Then, she let the air out very slowly. When she spoke again, her voice was almost steady, though not steady enough not to notice the bitten back tears.  
‘No.’  
‘Why?’ Ianto focused his eyes on Myfanwy who demanded a scratch behind her ears. He was grateful for the distraction.  
‘Because I’m like a sister to him.’ She smiled sadly. ‘He actually told me that once.’  
‘Sorry.’  
And he really was sorry. No matter what this thing with Jack was, no matter if it really was jealousy that sometimes seemed to flood him when he saw Jack with someone else, he never wanted to see any of his friends suffer. Even if it meant a stab in the gut for him.  
They went quiet for a while, listening to the birds chirping and the wind rustling the leaves. Everything went by its business as his mind fell into chaos in front of his eyes.  
‘Are you in love with him?,’ Gwen asked suddenly.  
Ianto started; he was hoping they’d stay as far away from discussing his feelings – especially those concerning Jack – as possible, but clearly he wasn’t so lucky. He never lifted his eyes from his dog as he answered.  
‘I don’t know.’  
At least he wasn’t lying.  
‘How can you not know?’  
‘I just don’t.’ Ianto shrugged. ‘I know that I care about him. I know he makes me laugh. And that I don’t like seeing him sulking. But I honestly don’t know if this is just how everyone feels around Jack, or if this is- that other thing.’  
Gwen studied his face for a minute, until it began to sting and turn scarlet, and he turned it away.  
‘Is it because he’s a guy?’  
‘No,’ Ianto answered a little too quickly. ‘Maybe. It’s just different from- before. It’s just hard to tell.’  
‘Was there ever a guy before?’  
‘There wasn’t.’  
He half-expected her to give him a flat-out diagnosis, tell him he had to be in love and it just felt a little strange, or whatever. He waited for a few minutes in silence as Gwen apparently forgot his existence, staring into space.  
Then she made him face her again.  
‘Do you still miss Lisa?’  
The question took him aback. What was even more surprising was just how completely he didn’t see it coming. Yet it was so natural to ask it. And he realised that the longer they’d been apart, the more rarely his thoughts turned to her. Recently, not at all. And the more time had passed, the more his heart felt glued back together. Almost as if it had never been broken into pieces.  
‘No,’ he replied, still shocked by the revelation.  
‘You know, there’s nothing like new love to heal a broken heart,’ Gwen chirped, bumping her shoulder into Ianto’s. ‘Maybe that’s your answer?’  
‘Fuck off,’ he mumbled, his cheeks beet red.  
‘Maybe I can’t have him, but maybe you could.’ She smiled sadly. ‘He never told you you two were like brothers, right?’  
Ianto chuckled. ‘Not yet anyway.’ He looked at her, his expression suddenly solemn. ‘Maybe that’s your answer, too?’  
Gwen sighed, mildly irritated.  
‘Maybe,’ she allowed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you expected Gwen bashing, then sorry, ain't gonna happen. She has her flaws, but I love them all to bits.
> 
> Anyway, writing's been going pretty slow, because of too little time and my paralysing fear of fucking up the story. So I'm writing slowly and in small doses, but I'm getting closer to some big stuff. I'm not sure when the next update's gonna be. I'll try to post as soon as possible!


	9. Chapter 9

The conversation he’d had with Gwen kept on rattling in Ianto’s brain for the rest of the night. Once the topic had been brought up and discussed, there was no pushing it back into the dustiest corner of his mind anymore. There was no denying that it was something to go over in his mind, to consider from all angles, and to make decisions about.  
The question had finally been asked, and he had to face it.  
Was he in love with Jack?  
He knew what he’d told Gwen was the truth in his mind. He honestly had no idea if whatever Jack had been making him feel since the beginning was love. Caring, and a profound need for Jack to be happy, definitely. But wasn’t that what you could just as well feel for your friends?  
Then he asked himself, what about the dizzying effect Jack’s smile had on him? It wasn’t something you’d expect if you’re just friends with someone. Maybe it was just a little crush on his friend, nothing more, a fleeting little thing he would laugh at a few years from now. Yet it had been almost two months and his knees kept on turning into jelly whenever Jack unleashed his charms on him. Exposure hadn’t made him even the least bit immune.  
All that didn’t advance him even an inch in the direction of the truth. The confusion made his head ache, pulsating with a dull throb in his temples. He repeatedly squeezed his eyelids shut, trying to will it all away, to no avail.  
So he turned to the one memory he dreaded to go back to. It wasn’t a scary one at all, but the prospect of it being the key to his feelings terrified him.  
He had gone to bed early, exhausted from the constant race his thoughts seemed to be having, and he was lying wide awake, piecing the jigsaw puzzle together. With a deep calming breath, he closed his eyes, focusing his mind on bringing back the memories of that first early morning at the Harkness residence, the tranquillity of the Attic before anyone else than him and Jack had woken, the warmth of Jack’s body against his side... And the soft touch of lips pressed to his in a gentle, innocent kiss.  
His heart jumped at the thought, hammering even harder against his ribs.  
He was still unsure whether he had kissed Jack back. One thing that he did realise – or rather finally allowed himself to realise – was that he had liked the kiss. He vaguely remembered finding himself smiling after they broke apart. Not for one second did he find the kiss unwelcome. On the contrary, he unconsciously put his fingers gently to his lips, cherishing the salvaged memory, and quietly hoping for a chance to repeat what had happened.  
And with reliving this short moment, everything started to become just a tiny bit clearer. Whether what he was feeling was love, Ianto still had some doubts. What he did eventually decide was that it wasn’t something he could ignore any longer. It was real, and it was serious enough for him to grant himself permission to think it over. (He tried not to overthink it.)  
His thoughts lingered for a while on the fact that he had just admitted to himself being attracted to another man. Even though he had never considered himself to be anything other than straight before, he found himself entirely unbothered. Maybe it was his friends’ liberality rubbing off on him, but he was sure Jack’s gender was never really the cause of his confusion.  
What he decided had been his issue was just how entirely different he felt with Jack than he had with Lisa. Before it was all about the chase; the getting-the-girl, the pleasing-the-girl, the girl-liking-him-back. It dawned on him that he wasn’t sure Lisa had ever really known him, he’d been so consumed by trying too hard not to screw up, not to be awkward to ever truly be himself. He began feeling like that relationship was just a massive long con they’d been pulling on each other, fooling each other into believing all that had been between them mattered. That what they had been had anything to do with being in love, and not simply getting validation, attention and a feeling someone cared about them.  
And now, it had nothing to do with Ianto. He didn’t put up a front for Jack’s benefit, he didn’t play someone he wasn’t, because from the moment they met, the other boy had been showing him what he was was enough. He didn’t try to chase him either, because he knew it was pointess; Jack wasn’t the steady relationship kind, he was the troubled kind, and getting him was probably never going to happen. And finally, as much as his relationship with Lisa had been something he had felt he needed to be happy, he didn’t consider his own happiness for one second when it came to Jack.  
Jack was all that mattered.  
Not Ianto, not his desire to get the boy. Just Jack.  
Only Jack.  
***  
Having finally admitted his feelings to himself, Ianto slept peacefully through the night. Nothing was bothering him anymore, and the prospect of seeing Jack at school the next morning made him quietly content, even though he’d decided to keep on just being a friend to him, at least for the time being.  
For the first time ever he let himself really think about Jack, about every little detail he’d learnt or noticed about him. It was freeing. He was now fully aware of the fluttering in his stomach, and the dizziness that even bringing up the image of the other boy in his mind evoked. It was a strangely happy sensation, even though there was no guarantee anything would ever come out of it or that his feelings, whatever they were, would be reciprocated. Just knowing Jack was there for him, and thought he mattered was more than enough.  
When he was woken by his alarm clock and Myfanwy licking his hand in the morning, he sprung out of bed as if he were a five-year-old on Christmas Day. His thoughts immediately turned to Jack, making him grin widely. He grabbed his dog by the sides of her head and placed a kiss on top of it.  
‘You know what?,’ he said to her. ‘I think I love him. That ridiculous guy with the coat, and that vintage car, and those absurdly white teeth.’ He paused, considering something for a second. ‘And you know what else? I couldn’t be happier.’  
Then, a voice travelled up the stairs, pulling him out of the one-sided conversation.  
‘Ianto, breakfast!’ His father’s tone was sharp, almost reprimanding, as if being a minute late for breakfast was a crime.  
But that wasn’t what made Ianto freeze on the spot. One of his hands stopped dead where he was scratching Myfanwy behind her ear.  
‘Fuck,’ he muttered to himself.  
He realised that yes, he could be happier.  
He would be definitely much happier if he could be sure that being in love with Jack wouldn’t make him an even less satisfactory child than he already felt he was in his father’s eyes. Or at least that it wouldn’t get him kicked out of the house.  
His spirits sunk, he scrambled to his feet to get dressed (he considered wearing something more fancy than his regular jeans-and-a-T-shirt, but he decided there was no need to dress up for Jack), then willed himself to go downstairs.  
The whole family was gathered round the kitchen table with their French toast and their steaming mugs of tea or coffee. The only empty seat was waiting for Ianto, his plate already full of sticky syruped bread. As soon as he sat down, his mother placed a mug in front of him. He smiled weakly in thanks, even though he always liked it better to make his coffee himself.  
‘And good morning to you, too,’ said Gawain Jones coldly from over The Washington Times.  
‘Morning,’ Ianto replied, matching his father in tone.  
Rhiannon rolled her eyes; she’d rather Ianto went back to trying to please their father like he used to, but ever since the breaking of the news of their move to America, Ianto had been becoming gradually more defiant. She knew it had to do with the fact there was no discussion about it, that no one ever asked his opinion, that he was forced to leave so many dear things behind. And even though he seemed much more content than at the beginning, the resentment towards Gawain remained.  
Ianto tried his best to swallow his coffee and toast as fast as humanly possible, all the while not drawing anyone’s attention to himself. All he wanted was to be out of the house and on his way to see Jack.  
‘Those bloody gays,’ Gawain muttered under his breath, as if he could guess what his son was thinking about.  
Ianto froze, his mouth full of half-chewed-up breakfast. It took him a moment to realise his father was cursing whatever he read about in the paper, but his heart was already thudding sickeningly in his ears. He barely could make himself swallow the mouthful. He downed the rest of his coffee in one big gulp, before jumping to his feet and hurrying to the door.  
‘What’s the rush?,’ his mother asked.  
‘I- I’ve just remembered something. Gotta be at school early,’ he stuttered. School stuff was always the perfect excuse. ‘It’s a- a project. Chemistry.’  
‘Oh, all right, you don’t want to be late.’ She gave him a smile.  
He smiled back at her half-heartedly and hurried out. Once out the door, he slumped against it, puffing out the breath he’d been unconsciously holding. Suddenly, admitting his feelings seemed like a piece of cake. Living with that was going to be the real challenge.  
Only now, the decision had been made. There was no turning back, no backing down. Whether he was going to act on his feelings today, in a year, or never at all didn’t matter. What did matter was that either way, he would not deny that those feelings were there. Not anymore, not to anyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this one pretty soon, 'cause it's ready, and I'm still a little ahead with the writing and hoping to get even more ahead over the holidays.
> 
> And don't worry, they won't be platonic, no matter what Ianto's thinking in this chapter.
> 
> Thanks for reading and all the feedback! I love hearing your thoughts about the story, so keep 'em coming!


	10. Chapter 10

To his relief and surprise, admitting to himself that his feelings for Jack were not entirely platonic didn’t turn out to have any effect on their friendship. They had grown so comfortable with each other that it just didn’t matter all that much. They spent Friday lunch teasing Gwen, who had finally decided to give Rhys a chance, and she never mentioned anything they’d discussed the night before. (She did however catch Ianto later in the hallway to whisper a thank you and a good luck to him.)  
Then came Saturday, and the regular party at Jack’s. Ianto was trying to keep his calm, but for some reason he was anxious. He was fidgeting, and spent much longer than normally assembling an outfit, and then wasted another 20 minutes trying to fix his hair which chose that particular day to stick out in all possible directions.  
It was seven o’clock when a pebble hit Ianto’s window, startling him. He ran to look outside, itching to see Jack, and completely forgetting that he hadn’t put on his shirt. He opened the window wider to talk to his friend.  
‘I’ll be down in a sec, I just need to-‘  
‘Get dressed?,’ Jack finished for him with a grin. ‘You don’t have to do that on my account.’  
Ianto rolled his eyes ostensibly, turning away from the window. He hoped he’d be quick enough for Jack not to notice the scarlet shade that adorned his cheeks. (He failed.) But Ianto also couldn’t help but notice the butterflies that had certainly settled in his stomach for good.  
‘You can’t take a compliment, can you?,’ Jack called after him from the street.  
‘No,’ Ianto replied, having run back to the window, his T-shirt still not properly on. ‘And could you please stop yelling in front of my house?’  
‘Fine. But I’m not gonna stop complimenting you when I feel a compliment is in order.’  
Ianto had to make an effort not to smile the dopiest grin ever at that.  
‘Just don’t shout those compliments for everyone to hear, will you?’  
‘Scout’s honour!,’ Jack swore, putting his hand over his heart in faux solemnity.  
‘You were kicked off the scouts, remember?,’ Ianto teased him, grabbing his jacket and his phone.  
‘Details,’ the mumbled answer came from outside, barely audible to Ianto.  
He smiled softly to himself, happy Jack couldn’t see him then, because his expression was pretty tell-tale.  
‘Okay, I’m coming, so stop talking,’ he told him through the open window as he made his way to the door.  
Jack greeted him downstairs by opening the passenger door for him, and the only thing stopping Ianto from kissing him full on the mouth was the fact that they were in the middle of the street in front of his house. So he slipped into his seat, and thanked Jack with no mocking undertone whatsoever.  
They drove to Chevy Chase in silence. Ianto’s senses were heightened, picking up on every shift in Jack’s body, every turn of the wheel or step on the gas. He kept his eyes on the passing images outside, but he didn’t see any of them. His mind was all Jack, all he heard was Jack, all he smelled was Jack, all he saw was Jack, even though he wasn’t actually watching him, and he was pretty sure that the taste on his tongue was Jack as well, despite the fact that it’s been weeks since their kiss.  
So he was also doing his best to keep his mouth shut, to not let any stray thought slip out of it.  
And all Jack was doing as he was driving was stealing little glances at Ianto, wondering what kept him so preoccupied.  
They arrived when the party crowd was still assembling, slowly filling the lounge, and spilling out onto the patio. Tosh and Owen were settled quietly in the kitchen, completely uninterested in the party outside. She was holding a large bowl of crisps, and putting handfuls of them into her mouth on a regular basis, while he sipped his bourbon from a glass, bored out of this world.  
‘You know what, guys?,’ Owen said when the two boys entered. ‘This is really getting old. There isn’t even any more dirt about these idiots to talk about. And Gwen bailed on us. Why do you even bother with these, Jack?’  
‘Because it’s fun.’ Jack shrugged.  
‘And Gwen didn’t bail on us, she’s allowed to go out with people, you know,’ Ianto added.  
Owen groaned and winced.  
‘Et tu Brute contra me?,’ he said. ‘And anyway, since when do you two finish each other’s sentences? What are you now twins or an old married couple?’  
Ianto could feel a blush creeping back to his cheeks, so he turned his back to pour himself a drink (god, how he needed that).  
‘We just happen to both be right,’ Jack said evasively (or at least that’s what it sounded like to Ianto).  
‘Yeah, right, you couldn’t be twins, ‘cause your genes’re a bit better than Jones’. Sorry, dude.’  
Focusing on his glass, Ianto barely registered he was being addressed. When he realised that, he couldn’t help but agree with Owen, though. And then, he chided himself for almost thinking, “he’s too good for me”. Because that wasn’t the point.  
Slowly, he turned to face his friends again, holding his glass in his two hands as firmly as he could without breaking it. He felt otherwise his hands would shake too violently to hide it.  
‘You also aren’t an old married couple, ‘cause none of those three things is the case, not yet anyway,’ Owen went on. Ianto and Tosh exchanged a glance, her eyebrows shooting up in question. He answered with an infinitesimal shake of his head, and she nodded slightly in acknowledgement, as she stuffed her mouth full of crisps one more time. ‘You’re just both weird, man,’ Owen finally finished and hiccupped. It was obviously not his first drink of the evening.  
‘Thanks,’ Jack said happily, as if he’d just received a major compliment. ‘You know what? Harper’s kinda right. Let’s go upstairs, fuck this bunch of imbeciles, shall we?’  
‘Finally wise words from you, master of the house!,’ Owen told him, as he stood up from his chair grabbing his drink. He had to pass Jack on his way to the back staircase, and as he did, he hooked his arm around his friend’s neck and planted a bourbon-flavoured kiss on his mouth. ‘For once you talk sense, Harkness.’  
Ianto felt a pang of jealousy in his gut. He knew it was completely unwarranted and stupid, but it was also entirely out of his control. He didn’t notice Toshiko was right next to him until she grabbed him by the arm and led him upstairs after the other two.  
‘You’ll get used to that,’ she whispered to him.  
He sent her a dubious look.  
‘Have you?’  
She turned her eyes away, pretending he never spoke a word.  
***  
No one could actually tell how they ended up sitting cross-legged in a circle, with an empty bourbon bottle in the middle. It had happened as if on its own accord, soon after Gwen showed up before midnight. She had enjoyed her movie and dinner date with Rhys, and was almost willing to admit to liking the guy. But as she claimed she was still single, and she could make out with whoever she liked, someone proposed a game of spin-the-bottle, and without really taking a vote, it was somehow unanimously decided to be a good idea. Ianto had had a few drinks that succeeded in making him lightheaded and a tiny bit more reckless than usually, so he cheered the game on.  
First it was Jack’s turn, and the neck of the bottle pointed to Owen. And for the second time that night, the two best friends locked their lips for a moment. (Ianto was actively trying not to be bothered, but without much success.) Then Tosh, who was sitting to Jack’s left, spun the bottle vigorously, almost letting it get out of their little circle. The neck once again pointed to Owen. Tosh’s attempt at not showing how excited she was about it was a complete failure.  
‘You’re all too lucky tonight,’ Owen teased, as he leaned over to pull Toshiko flush against his chest and kissing her deeply, knocking air out of her lungs.  
She couldn’t stop smiling for the next five minutes straight.  
Gwen’s spin ended with the bottle pointing clearly to Ianto. She winked at him, before tugging him by the front of his shirt to kiss him on the mouth. Later, she lingered a second longer to whisper something in his ear. He wasn’t sure he caught it right, but it sounded like she wished him good luck for his turn.  
Owen took a large swig from another (half-empty) bottle of bourbon, before setting the one on the ground into motion. When it finally stopped, it wasn’t clear where it was pointing to.  
‘I think it’s Gwen,’ Tosh said in a small resigned voice.  
‘I’m pretty sure it’s you,’ her friend told her, seeing her disappointment.  
Jack eyed them for a second, glanced to Ianto who gave him an exasperated look, then examined the bottle carefully.  
‘I’d say it’s an inch to Tosh’s side. Sorry, Gwen, you’ll have to pass on the unique opportunity of having a drink out of Harper’s mouth.’  
She tried to suppress a grin.  
‘I’ll live.’  
‘Very funny, Harkness,’ Owen said, leaning towards Tosh again. She could barely stop herself from lunging herself onto him.  
Ianto was pretty sure this kiss was longer than the previous one, and that Toshiko didn’t mind the taste of bourbon on Owen’s lips, and that she would probably kiss him forever if she only could. Finally they broke apart, and Jack was watching them with a little smile.  
‘Gotta admit she’s a good kisser, right, Owen?,’ he asked, and his friend’s eyes dropped to the floor in search of his bottle.  
Having taken a long swig of booze, Owen eventually answered.  
‘Right, she is. Wouldn’t have guessed, huh?’  
Tosh looked giddy.  
‘Your turn, Ianto,’ Gwen said, as if he needed reminding. He’d only been holding back because he knew just how much his hand was shaking, and he didn’t want the others to think he was afraid or nervous because of this stupid game.  
Keeping his hand as steady as he could, he spun the bottle. His nervousness got the better of him and the bottle only turned a couple of times, before stopping with a wobble, and pointing squarely right where Ianto wanted it to point.  
At Jack.  
He breathed in not to get any more shaky. He kept his eyes on the bottle for another moment, scared that what he was going to see on Jack’s face wasn’t what he’d like it to be.  
‘Guess you’re lucky tonight, too,’ he heard his friend’s voice to his left.  
He looked at him finally. Jack’s eyes were sparkling mischievously, matching the crooked grin arching his lips.  
‘Guess I am,’ Ianto said as nonchalantly as he could manage.  
He didn’t wait for Jack to make a move. Instead, he pulled him close, putting his hand on the back of Jack’s neck, kissing him like he’d been wishing to do since the moment he remembered how good their first kiss had felt.  
Initially, Jack seemed surprised by Ianto taking charge, but soon enough he was kissing him back just as fiercely. It took a fraction of a second for them to completely forget they were not alone, and their friends were watching them with their eyes wide open.  
Eventually, Gwen cleared her throat, bringing them abruptly back to reality.  
‘That’s enough, guys, you don’t have to eat each other’s tonsils out,’ she said.  
They flinched apart, automatically dropping their eyes to the floor. Both out of breath, they couldn’t respond to Gwen, and even if they could speak, it was hardly good retorts that was on their minds at the moment. They sat back down, further apart than before, tense and rigid, eyes wandering everywhere but towards the other. The silence in the room was deafening, despite the steady vibrations from the heavy bass in the music playing downstairs.  
‘Oh, by the way,’ Gwen finally spoke, clearly in an attempt to dissolve the sudden tension. ‘Rhys asked me to prom, and I said yes.’  
‘What?,’ Jack snapped out of his speechlessness. ‘We don’t do prom.’  
‘No one’s asked you, have they, Jack?,’ she said. ‘I know we don’t, but you’ve all been badgering me to give him a chance, so don’t hold it against me that I’m following your advice.’  
Owen frowned, crossing his arms over his chest.  
‘You were supposed to go out, not parade with him as his trained monkey to that idiotic thing.’  
She glared at him.  
‘I’m not making any of you go, I just wanted to tell you, and say that if any of you wanted to change your mind, it’d be great, ‘cause I wouldn’t feel as big of an idiot.’  
‘I’d go to keep you company, but I don’t see myself getting a date a week before prom, so-,’ Tosh started. ‘And I don’t wanna end up one of those sad people sitting in the corner while their not-so-single friends make out under the bleachers.’  
‘Tosh, the prom’s at the Jefferson,’ Jack reminded her. ‘No bleachers.’  
‘I meant it metaphorically. But you get the idea. Sorry, Gwen.’  
The latter pulled her friend into a one-armed hug, and murmured an “it’s fine” into her hair.  
‘Why don’t we all go, though? In solidarity, I mean?,’ Ianto cut in.  
That finally succeeded in making Jack look at him; granted, it was in surprise, but it seemed the built-up sexual tension between them got sidetracked for the moment.  
‘Why would we wanna do that?,’ Owen asked. ‘We’ve spent the last three years fighting the system by not going to any of those, why fold now?’  
Ianto shrugged, almost dismissively.  
‘Dunno, maybe because our friend’s going, and she would rather have us around, in case Rhys gets too annoying to put up with any longer?’  
‘Okay, fair point.’ Owen bit his lip, and his eyes narrowed. ‘So- How about a vote? Those in favour of sentencing ourselves to a night of torture and misery, in order to stand guard to Gwen having a good time at the prom, raise your hand.’  
Gwen rolled her eyes at him, but the small smile that broke out despite her trying to suppress it showed just how much she appreciated what they were offering to do. She raised her hand immediately, together with Ianto and Toshiko. Jack and Owen exchanged a glance. Whatever they would choose, majority was already in favour of Ianto’s idea. There was no reason for them to oppose.  
So Jack raised his hand, and a moment later, reluctantly, so did Owen.  
‘Ladies and gentlemen, we are going to prom,’ Jack said with a dazzling grin. For a split second, his eyes fell on Ianto, who’d been watching him since the beginning of the vote, and plotting silently.  
***  
As night went on, the thought of going to prom began to grow on everyone, even the initially highly unenthusiastic Owen. In the midst of their planning for the dance, he even offered to play Toshiko’s boyfriend in case she was bothered by anyone unworthy of her. She was delighted, although she was aware he was likely to forget everything he said after so many drinks.  
‘I can be your bodyguard if Owen forgets,’ Ianto whispered to her, taking advantage of the others being engaged in more arrangements for the coming weekend.  
‘Thanks, but I’ll be fine.’ She smiled gratefully. ‘Anyway, you’ll probably be too busy keeping tabs on Jack.’  
Ianto looked at her quizzically.  
‘Oh, come on. I’m not blind,’ she said.  
‘Well, I am apparently,’ he murmured.  
Their conversation was interrupted by Owen, who swept Tosh away effortlessly from her seat.  
‘We’re going downstairs to mingle with the mob, in preparation for the horror next week. You coming, Jones?’ He had caught Tosh by her waist, and now she was clinging to his chest, making both of them sway slightly. ‘Harkness is too antisocial for this sort of thing, so you can both stay here and be sociopaths together.’  
Ianto had almost started to get up to join them, but Jack staying behind changed things. It gave him the opportunity he was hoping for, and he’d expected it to only pop up on Monday at the earliest.  
‘Yeah, guess I’m not the mob-loving kind either,’ he mumbled with a nervous half-smile.  
With a shrug, and a tipsy girl on each arm, Owen made his way to the door and out of the Attic. Ianto downed the remainder of his drink, not saying a word or looking up at Jack, who was sitting on the couch, directly opposite him.  
‘Please, don’t tell me going to an American high school junior prom was your dream when you came here,’ Jack said, breaking the silence.  
‘Not particularly.’ Ianto took a deep breath and finally locked his eyes with Jack’s sparkling, hypnotically blue ones. ‘I was thinking, though-‘  
His voice trailed off. It felt weird, wrong even. As if it should be fireworks and starlight, and roses, a cheesy rom-com moment. There was nothing he could do to make it that way, and he’d already started talking, and there was his maybe only chance to do this, and the booze kind of made it easier.  
He got up. That was all he could think of. He crossed the room in a few strides and stopped right in front of Jack.  
‘I was thinking that maybe we could go together,’ he blurted out before his courage could run out.  
‘We are going together, Ianto.’  
‘I know, I-.’ He closed his eyes. ‘I meant- You and I. We could- You could be my plus one. If you’d like.’  
There was silence. Fearful, he opened his eyes and glanced at Jack, who was gaping at him, open-mouthed (but somehow still smoking hot and almost otherworldly attractive).  
‘You’re asking me to be your date to the prom?,’ he asked with disbelief.  
‘Er- Yeah.’  
Jack scrambled to his feet, standing just a few inches from Ianto. He scanned his face with his eyes, still surprised, as if checking for signs of mockery or insincerity.  
‘Yeah. I’d like that,’ he said at last.  
‘Okay.’  
Ianto stayed serious, staring back at Jack, not knowing what his next move should be.  
A minute passed, and Jack dropped his gaze, biting his lip and folding his arms in front of him.  
‘So- Was the kiss so good you thought you’d take me to prom?,’ he asked, faking nonchalance.  
‘No. Wasn’t the best I’ve had actually.’  
‘No?’ Jack looked honestly hurt.  
Ianto shook his head.  
‘No. ‘Cause this time it wasn’t like you wanted to kiss me. You kinda had to.’  
A series of emotions flashed through Jack’s face, from relief to amusement, finally to happiness.  
‘I don’t have to kiss you now,’ he said softly. ‘But I really, really want to.’  
‘Go ahead then,’ Ianto told him, grabbing the front of Jack’s shirt to pull him closer.  
Their lips met half-way, their kisses hasty and eager, their hands unleashed, wandering to the other’s face, and neck, and chest, and back. Soon enough, Jack fell back to the couch he’d just left, with Ianto in his lap, kissing him more passionately than he’d ever kissed anyone before. They were out of breath, giddy and blissful when they pulled apart. Ianto moved off of Jack to sit in the far end of the sofa, keeping only his feet in the other boy’s lap.  
‘You keep surprising me, Jones, Ianto Jones.’  
‘Do I? Damn, now I have to keep getting better at this, so that I don’t disappoint.’  
Jack barked out a laugh.  
‘No, you don’t. I wouldn’t change a thing about you.’  
‘I would,’ Ianto said casually. ‘One thing I’d like to change- I want to get out of here.’ That made Jack squint in query. ‘I mean- They’d already seen us snogging tonight once, why make them jealous twice?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone's having happy holidays! And that you liked the chapter! I'm currently finishing chapter 12, so still - despite all hurdles in my way - I'm a little bit ahead. Not sure if there'll be another update this year, or very early in January, I'll see. And for now, have fun this holiday season!


	11. Chapter 11

Jack’s room was spacious, its walls covered in navy-coloured wallpaper, the floor dark and wooden, a grey carpet in the centre. The bed was pushed against the far wall. The frame was simple, the sheets white and ruffled. There was little other furniture, just a desk, a chair, a chest of drawers and an almost empty bookcase. The room didn’t seem like it was used much for activities other than sleeping. Which probably explained why Ianto had never been there before, despite his multiple visits to the residence.  
‘It’s not exactly impressive,’ Jack said. ‘I wish it was smaller. It feels like sleeping in a warehouse.’  
‘Oh, you wanna sleep then?,’ Ianto asked, pretend seriousness on his face, as he stepped in front of Jack deliberately, the fingers of his left hand laced gently with those of the other boy’s right. ‘I thought we had other plans.’  
He had barely stopped speaking when Jack pulled him in for a kiss.  
‘Is this more like it?,’ he asked, his lips still on Ianto’s.  
‘Mhm.’ He was out of breath and dizzy, and his knees were almost giving in, and he held on tight to Jack. At that point he didn’t even mind him noticing his raging hard-on, and was pretty sure he wasn’t the only one turned on. He reached to Jack’s collar, beginning to undo the top button of his shirt.  
‘Whoa, whoa, hold your horses,’ Jack said, pushing Ianto gently away.   
Ianto felt so hurt he couldn’t respond; it was a plain unadulterated feeling of rejection burning deep in his stomach, having nothing to do with his unresolved arousal. It had been too good to be true. It was all Jack screwing around, being the biggest, most unreliable and emotionally unstable slut in town-  
‘I didn’t mean-! It’s not...,’ Jack began, but his voice failed. He put his hands on Ianto’s chest, tracing down with his fingers gingerly, as if he was terrified of breaking him with the slightest touch. ‘I- Don’t let me screw you up.’  
‘What?,’ Ianto choked out. ‘Can’t you just snog someone without some profound philosophical speeches?’  
‘No, just you.’  
For a second Ianto thought it was a joke, but the way Jack avoided looking him in the eye seemed to prove otherwise.  
‘What?,’ he repeated.  
‘Not sure if you’ve noticed, but I’m not exactly boyfriend material,’ Jack said, flashing an unconvincing smile, trying to downplay his words. He began untangling his fingers from Ianto’s, but the latter only gripped his hand tighter. ‘You have to know that this is- it’s not gonna work out. Not the way you’d like.’  
‘Can you just stop talking for a second?,’ Ianto said firmly. ‘I asked you to prom, you said yes. We made out a bit, which was- er, pretty amazing, actually.’  
Jack chuckled despite himself. This boy that was standing right in front of him, this beautiful, witty, wicked smart boy, seemed to be stripping him bare of his self-control, disarming him completely.  
‘And I’m not expecting anything,’ Ianto went on. ‘I know you, Jack. I know you’re a tremendous kisser, and a great friend, and really bad at maintaining other relationships. And you’re a boy, and my friend, which kinda makes you “boyfriend material”.’ He showed air quotes with his free hand.  
With a resigned sigh, Jack put his forehead on Ianto’s shoulder.  
‘Can we just- stay like this? Don’t let me treat you like I treat everybody else.’ He looked up with a kicked puppy expression.  
‘Sure,’ Ianto said, even though he wasn’t exactly certain what Jack meant.  
And then he kissed him softly on the lips.  
It was their last kiss that night.  
***  
Ianto snuck out of Jack’s bedroom soon after six. Jack asked him to stay, patting the still warm space on the bed beside him that he’d just vacated.  
‘You need some sleep after the night we’ve had,’ he laughed it off, and left.  
The fact was that nothing happened. If a night spent on talking about anything and everything, and yet nothing at all, while snuggled in one bed could be called nothing. To Ianto it was strangely that and the exact opposite. He had expected Jack to not be willing to be proper boyfriends, whatever his true reasons for that were, and still deep down he’d hoped he was wrong. But what he couldn’t deny, was the absolute bliss that getting to watch Jack talk all night and to feel him so close gave him.  
In effect, he ended up confused again, and fled to clear his head.  
The sun was just rising, basking the Harkness house in a reddish glow. Ianto cast one last look at the enormous residence, wondering if his friends would hold his leaving against him. But he needed to get out. He needed some alone time.  
So he walked. His feet pounding the pavement through the tranquillity of a Sunday morning in Chevy Chase calmed his mind. He hadn’t planned that night to go like this, he hadn’t even considered making a move until that stupid game. And he’d thought that once all the booze was out of his system, and the sky brightened at dawn, and the reality set in, that he would probably regret it all. Yet he didn’t. Even if it ended up being a snog here and there, and a slow dance at junior prom, there was not one thing he regretted about the previous night.  
He crossed the richly green, dazzling from morning dew Rock Creek Park. It took him a ridiculously long while to notice he was smiling to himself. He wished Myfanwy was with him. She’d love the sparkly wetness on the grass.  
When he arrived back home, his mother was already up, even though it wasn’t even eight yet. She was cradling a cup of tea in her hands and looking out the living room window, still in her nightdress and dressing gown.  
‘Morning,’ Ianto said. He wasn’t sure if he was in trouble, but it seemed like her being awake didn’t bode too well.  
‘Morning.’  
She didn’t continue speaking, but something in her stance told Ianto he wasn’t allowed to leave quite yet, so he stood there, his hand still on the doorknob, waiting.  
‘You’ve changed, sweetheart,’ she said eventually. He stayed silent, a frown on his face, waiting again for her to go on. ‘It used to be a miracle if you stayed out with friends till curfew. You’d always be on time, before time even. And now, you’re out all night, God knows where. And the way you talk to your father- I don’t like it, Ianto. What’s happened to you?’  
She didn’t sound angry. Her voice was filled with worry and sadness. She wished the family got along like it used to, with Ianto quietly obedient, his snark limited to commenting on stupid programmes on the telly.  
‘Nothing,’ he said after a moment’s pause. ‘Or, America’s happened. And for that I’m not responsible, as you well know.’  
‘I do,’ she smiled sadly. ‘I guess I have to reconcile with the thought of my baby boy getting older.’  
She reached out to stroke his cheek affectionately and made to go to the kitchen.  
‘Mam?,’ Ianto said, and she looked back at him. ‘Next Saturday, it’s junior prom. And it turned out last night, that I’m- we’re going.’  
‘Oh, you have a date to prom?,’ she said excitedly. ‘That’s lovely. Who is it, dear?’  
‘I mean- me and my friends.’ Her enthusiasm waned, and he hesitated. ‘But I- I kinda have a date.’ He blurted the words out before he could change his mind.  
‘Who is it then?’  
Ianto looked away, wishing any of the alcohol from last night still had any effect on him.  
‘Just- one of my friends,’ he mumbled.  
‘Which one? The one you were walking Myfanwy with a couple days ago?’  
‘No.’ He swallowed and raised his gaze back at his mother. ‘It’s Jack. Jack Harkness.’  
She stopped smiling; now she was just staring at him, as if unable to comprehend his words.  
‘So, not really a date, you’re just going stag with a mate,’ she said.  
‘Er, no, mam.’ He huffed out a breath, half annoyed and half scared. ‘It’s a date.’  
‘But- You- Lisa-‘ Clearly, Ianto wasn’t the only one who found this exchange highly uncomfortable.  
‘I was in love with Lisa, and now I- I’m going to prom with Jack. There’s this thing called bisexuality, I don’t know if you’ve heard.’  
He winced. He wasn’t entirely sure the term even applied to him, and he was rude to his mother, which wasn’t among his favourite things to be.  
‘Ianto-,’ she started. ‘Are you planning to tell your father?’  
He glanced up in the direction of the master bedroom. That was the million dollar question. Was he? The sole thought of it made him squirm and he hoped to be able to avoid disclosing anything related to Jack to his father for as long as humanly possible.  
‘I’m not sure.’  
‘Could you consider- not saying anything?,’ she asked, and her son could tell she was as afraid of how Gawain would react as he was. ‘At least for now. It’s just prom after all, right?’  
Ianto bit his lip to stop himself from telling her how entirely she was wrong about that. It was so not just prom. But he only nodded in acquiescence and began turning towards the main staircase when she pulled him in a tight embrace.  
‘I’m glad you’re not alone here anymore,’ she whispered in his ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought it would take me a shorter time to update, but well, things keep on keeping me away from working on this story. Some of them I can control, most I can't.
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed!


	12. Chapter 12

Monday morning brought with it a surprise.  
Ianto arrived at school much too early, excited to see Jack and to get them tickets to prom, and he was just retrieving his books for his first period calc class from his locker, when someone stepped into his peripheral vision and leaned gracefully against the lockers to his right. His head jerked up; he didn’t expect any of his friends to show up this early, not even the ever knowledge-hungry Tosh. And yet there was Jack, eyeing him from under squinted lids, a small, fidgety smile dancing on his lips.  
‘Is this some kind of new way of rebelling?,’ Ianto asked him without greeting. ‘Coming to school before everyone else?’  
Jack chuckled. ‘I had an errand to run.’  
He held up his hand with a couple of pieces of stiff cream-coloured paper.  
‘I invited you, I should’ve got us tickets!,’ Ianto protested.  
‘The one thing from my folks that I don’t mind accepting is cash, so I’m making use of it. You can buy me a corsage.’ Jack grinned.  
‘Yeah, right.’ Ianto rolled his eyes. ‘Don’t make me look like a cheap date. I like doing things properly.’  
Jack let out a mock-annoyed huff.  
‘But I am a cheap date, and anyway, doing things properly is not really my style.’  
Not giving the other boy a chance to reply, he leaned in, and kissed Ianto on the mouth, surprising him enough to make him forget they were standing in the middle of a school hallway that was just about to fill with other students. So he didn’t hold back, and neither did Jack.  
Needless to say, by the time they pulled apart, they were out of breath.  
‘That was- pretty properly done,’ Ianto panted out.  
‘I make exceptions sometimes.’  
‘You’re impossible, did you know that?’ He tried to sound peeved, even though he knew it was useless. He just couldn’t really get mad at him, and all he sounded like was affectionate.  
‘Yes, I did.’  
Ianto slammed his locker shut with another roll of his eyes, and began walking towards his calculus classroom. Jack followed him without a word, too busy biting back a smile, with his hands behind his back. They’d walked no more than twenty feet, when Ianto turned around abruptly.  
‘But I’m picking you up. And I will get you a bloody corsage if you want me to. And all you can do is agree to colour-coordinate.’  
Jack stopped dumb-stricken a feet from him, staring back with an expression of shock and awe mixed together thoroughly.  
‘Alright,’ he said eventually.  
‘Good.’ Ianto grinned at him with self-satisfaction and without another word, headed for the classroom.  
***  
At home, the prom became a secret between mother and son. Or rather, the details about it did. Both Mr. Jones and Rhiannon knew about the dance the following Saturday, and were aware that Ianto was going with his usual group of friends. However, they were informed that he didn’t have a date (which didn’t fail to elicit a nasty comment from his father, about how he was a cry baby, still pining after Lisa – he had not an inkling of just how wrong he was; and Rhiannon had her suspicions, but kept her mouth shut for the sake of her little brother).  
Mrs. Jones knowing about Ianto’s date turned out to be a blessing. She showed up at his room on Monday, right after he came back from school, asking if he could pop out to the shops with her.  
‘S’pose I could. What do you need me for?,’ he inquired, surprised she wanted him to go with her (he had a habit of being critical of whatever outfit she chose for herself or one of the other members of the Jones family; he usually complained about the quality of the fabrics).  
‘I thought we should get you a suit for Saturday. I’m not letting you rent a tuxedo, it seems unsanitary.’  
He was shocked, wide-eyed and speechless, but he had enough wits left to scramble to his feet and hurry to the car with her. It was hard to tell what made him more ecstatic – going shopping for quality formal wear (which he had a slightly embarrassing soft spot for) or knowing his mother had his back.  
They spent the afternoon going from shop to shop in search of the perfect three-piece suit. Finally, Ianto picked a classy black one that fit him just right and a dress shirt to match. His mother was the one to choose a tie for him: an indigo one with delicate light blue stripes.  
When Ianto was tracing his fingers down the soft silk necktie, he caught sight of another one in the corner of his eye. It was placed strategically right next to the one his mother had picked for him, right where he’d been called over to accept her choice. Not only did the other tie match the one his mum was going to get him, it was its exact reverse: light blue, indigo pinstripes.  
‘Mam?,’ he started sheepishly. She was already being very liberal with both her attitude and their spending. ‘Could I get this one as well?’  
She glanced at the tie he was indicating and a knowing smile brightened her features.  
‘Of course you can.’  
And as cheesy as the prom affair was, Ianto couldn’t help the intensified fluttering in his stomach that nauseated him in an almost pleasant way. He couldn’t wait to see Jack in the tie, even though he wasn’t certain the other boy would agree to wear it without a fight (Ianto was determined to win whatever battle was ahead of him). This prom had to go just right. To him, there was no other option. Whatever would happen later with him and Jack, he wanted this one perfect night to cherish.  
There was one other thing he needed in order to achieve that, but he wasn’t quite brave or bold enough to straight out ask his mother for money. He intended to gather his savings and do his best with them, but then, his mother surprised him once more.  
‘Do you think they’ll still have vacancies at the hotel on such a late date?,’ she asked him matter-of-factly.  
‘Huh?’ He almost choked on air.  
‘That’s the practice in America, isn’t it? Getting a hotel room after the prom, especially when the prom is held at a hotel?’  
‘Er- er- Yeah, I guess it is,’ he stammered. ‘But mam, you know that- er- I have a date, and- er- the hotel room is not supposed to be a single one?’  
She waved her hand and laughed.  
‘I’m not thick-headed, love, I know what the hotel room is for.’ They stopped simultaneously in the middle of the busy mall. ‘I trust that you’re mature enough to make decisions for yourself. And that you know better than not to be safe, yeah?’ He nodded awkwardly, his eyes wandering everywhere but his mother’s face. ‘At least I’m pretty sure I don’t need to worry about becoming a grandmother. For now.’  
‘At least for now,’ he agreed, biting down an embarrassed smile. ‘Thanks, mam.’  
She took his hand affectionately and rubbed its back gently with her thumb.  
‘You’re my little boy, and I’ll do anything for you to be happy. Your dad could have something against what’s going on in your life, if he knew, but that’s not important. You are, and I can see you’ve been so much better recently.’  
He smiled wider. Yes, he had been so much better.  
***  
That wasn’t the end of Ianto’s prom shopping. Even though he was all set for Saturday night (including having booked one of the last available rooms at the hotel and spending a small fortune on it with his mother’s blessing), Toshiko and Gwen were still in need of dresses. On Tuesday afternoon, they wandered from shop to shop in order to find the perfect dresses for both of them. Ianto was dragged along under the pretence of being the best advisor among the boys, but he was expecting them to start grilling him about Jack any minute.  
Eventually, Toshiko got a lovely lilac dress made of delicate chiffon, and a pair of high-heeled silvery sandals. The gown reached just below her knees, and – to her horror – showed off her cleavage. That last detail was what made both Gwen and Ianto push for her to buy it, and she couldn’t help but cave.  
Gwen ended up choosing an emerald dress with a deep neckline (no persuasions were needed here) and an asymmetric skirt, as well as a pair of lushly sequined golden high heels and long sparkly earrings that matched them in colour.  
Despite the girls’ ulterior motives for taking him along, Ianto proved to be good at giving advice indeed, and he approved or critiqued their outfit options constructively. They were delighted with his compliments and suggestions, and pledged to never shop without him again (he wasn’t sure how he felt about it yet).  
After the exhausting hours of shopping, they decided to skip home dinner and got pizza at Domino’s. As they were waiting for their order, the girls exchanged a glance and attacked, almost making Ianto choke on his drink.  
‘So, how are things with you and Jack?,’ Gwen asked.  
‘Er- What do you mean?,’ he said innocently.  
‘Oh, you know what!’ Tosh could barely stop herself from jumping up and down in her seat. ‘You disappeared together on Saturday. You can’t possibly think we failed to notice.’  
He sighed and slowly pushed his glass away, watching carefully his own movements.  
‘I don’t think you did,’ he answered. ‘I just- There’s nothing to talk about.’  
‘You’re going to prom together,’ Gwen stated, as if she was saying that water is wet.  
Ianto raised his eyebrows in surprise.  
‘How do you know that?’  
‘Not difficult to figure out. Also, Jack told me.’ She looked at him as if to say “quit stalling, spill.”  
He wasn’t comfortable talking about his feelings. He never had been. He’d always been the type to bottle up his feelings and not let them show, even if it meant dying inside, anguish eating him up. He’d just plaster on a smile and trudge on.  
So spill he didn’t.  
‘We’re just going to prom. Gwen, you’re going with Rhys. Tosh, you and Owen are sort of going together-‘  
Toshiko sighed and dropped her eyes to her hands. She’d decided Owen had been drunk enough to not be held accountable of whatever he might’ve said at the bash.  
‘It’s only logical me and Jack go together.’  
Gwen sent him a dubious glance.  
‘Yeah, right. And no kind of hanky-panky was involved? And I’m guessing you haven’t booked a room?’  
As much as Ianto could control what he was saying, he had no power over the blush that crept to his face.  
‘I knew it!,’ Gwen said so loudly that a couple of other patrons at the restaurant looked around at her; she wasn’t bothered. ‘Seriously, you two seem to be good together. I’m happy for you.’  
She grew serious, and the smile she gave him at the end of that sentence was a sad one. But she was trying to move on, and she wasn’t interfering. Ianto nodded in acknowledgement.  
Tosh’s phone went off, interrupting their conversation. She jumped up, startled, and dug the mobile out of her jacket pocket. At the sight of the caller ID, she frowned and looked up at her friends shocked.  
‘It’s Owen.’  
‘Why’re you so surprised?,’ Ianto asked.  
‘He doesn’t call me. He texts me if he needs anything,’ she explained.  
‘Better pick up then,’ Gwen said.  
With a trembling finger, Tosh answered the call. The hubbub in the restaurant made it impossible for Gwen and Ianto to make out what Owen was saying, so all they heard was half of the conversation.  
‘Hi, Owen,’ Toshiko said anxiously into the receiver. ‘Why?’ Her eyes bulged and she stared at her friends in shock, probably without actually seeing them. ‘Oh, I thought- Um, nevermind. It’s lilac- Sort of- light violet? Um, okay, that’s fine. See you tomorrow.’ She hesitated before hanging up. ‘Owen?,’ she said hurriedly, hoping he hadn’t ended the call yet. ‘You don’t have to do this- Oh, okay. Thanks, I guess. Bye.’  
She dropped the hand in which she was holding her phone to her lap, a stunned expression still on her face.  
‘He wanted to ask what colour my dress is,’ she stammered.  
‘We figured that much,’ Ianto said. ‘And?’  
‘He asked because he needed to know what colour his tie is supposed to be,’ she told them, ecstasy breaking through the thick layer of shock. ‘He actually remembered what he’d said.’  
Gwen clapped her hands enthusiastically.  
‘Yay, Harper’s beginning to act like an adult! Go Owen! We should drink to that!’  
They raised their sodas in toast.  
‘To Owen, doing what he should for once,’ Gwen chanted.  
‘To Ianto and Jack,’ Tosh added (and Ianto rolled his eyes).  
‘And to everyone having fun at prom on Saturday,’ Ianto finished and they clank their glasses together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm running out of chapters. The next one is almost written, but I've been crazy busy recently (and it's probably going to continue for the next few weeks), so no guarantees about the updates (which makes me feel terrible, but there is nothing I can do, work must be prioritised over fanfiction).
> 
> Oh, and if I get something terribly wrong culture-wise, please, don't hesitate to let me know, so I can try and fix it! My experience of American culture is very secondary (since I've never been to America yet, not to mention going to prom there), but I do appreciate constructive criticism and learning things.


	13. Chapter 13

Ianto couldn’t remember when was the last time he felt this nervous about a social engagement. The whole matter would probably not be quite as nerve-wrecking without the significant addition of secrecy to it. The only person in his family who knew about Ianto’s date was his mother, so renting a limousine would have been risky. Thankfully, Jack had offered to drive them to the hotel where the event was being hosted, and Ianto took a cab to get to Jack’s place first. All his way to the Harkness residence, he was fiddling with two boxes in his lap.  
The smaller box was made out of thin translucent plastic, and shielded a perfect white carnation in full bloom, tied with a small light blue ribbon right where it was going to peek out of the intended wearer’s breast pocket. An identical carnation had already been placed on Ianto’s chest. The bigger box was an elegant shade of navy and housed the tie that Ianto had bought for Jack.  
Those two boxes were another cause of Ianto’s persistent anxiety. He’d been toying with the idea of letting it go, and simply not giving Jack either of them. He’d even considered passing on the hotel room he’d reserved. But each time he thought about it, no matter how many cons he’d listed, one pro had always outweighed them all.  
It was Jack and the chance of maybe making him happy.  
Ianto arrived at the Harkness house with an hour to spare, just as he’d intended. He wasn’t worried about being too early, because he’d never been unwelcome at the place, mostly due to the fact that Mr. and Mrs. Harkness were rarely home, and even more rarely did they show up anywhere near their son and his friends. Predictably, the person who answered the door was the housekeeper, Maria, a middle-aged Mexican woman with a kind smile and an exquisite set of taste buds which made her a tremendous cook.  
‘Mr. Jack’s upstairs,’ she said in her thick accent, and Ianto nodded and smiled in thanks.  
He knew that upstairs didn’t mean Jack’s room, but the Attic. The additional steps leading to the very top of the house equipped him with a little more time to muster the best impression of nonchalance he was capable of.  
‘I’m pretty sure you’re going to kill me, but could you please do that after tonight? I don’t want all this to go to complete waste,’ he said as soon as he crossed the threshold.  
Jack was standing in front of the French door, using it as a replacement for a mirror. He was wearing a perfectly tailored vintage suit and a white shirt, and was just working on the knot on his slim black tie.  
‘And hello to you, too,’ he said, turning to his friend with his trademark smirk.  
‘Hi,’ Ianto choked out.  
‘So, why am I going to kill you?,’ Jack asked, quirking his eyebrow. ‘I guess I should know, for legal purposes.’  
Just as he finished speaking, his eyes fell to the two boxes Ianto was carrying. His jaw dropped an inch, his eyes widened.  
‘You didn’t.’  
Ianto felt a surge of panic.  
‘Er- I did, but- er- We can just forget about it.’  
Without another word, Jack crossed the room to Ianto. Gently, he took the small box with the carnation in it, and the expression in his face softened to a half-smile.  
‘Does it have a meaning?’  
Ianto could feel the scarlet wave coming to his face and his eyes almost popping out of their sockets.  
‘Er- I guess it’s for good luck. You know, so that this night doesn’t end in disaster.’ He was aware the flowers had another meaning, but he’d rather keep that one to himself.  
Jack chuckled. ‘Guess we might need the luck.’ He placed the plastic box carefully on the armrest of the couch, and motioned to the other one. ‘What’s in this one?’  
Ianto cleared his throat and took to lifting the lid slowly.  
‘I just thought that- this might work a little better than that one.’ He pointed to the tie Jack had been unskilfully trying to fasten.  
‘You got me a tie?,’ Jack asked, half-amused, half-touched. He looked down into the box still in Ianto’s hands. ‘You got us a couple’s ties.’  
‘I’m pretty sure they’re not a couple’s ties, technically,’ Ianto said, a little too fast to be considered calm or casual. ‘It’s just ‘cause we’re going together, I mean, ‘cause you’re my plus one. I was just- I didn’t want our ties to clash.’  
He refused to maintain eye contact with Jack for a moment, which turned into a long minute of silence and – on Ianto’s part – uncertainty. And then, a warm soft hand crept under his jaw and forced him to look up again.  
‘Thank you, I love it,’ Jack said, and kissed him gently on the lips.  
‘Brings out your eyes,’ Ianto mumbled, eliciting the cheesiest and most ineffectively repressed smile he’d ever seen.  
‘Would you mind tying it for me?,’ Jack asked, throwing carelessly aside the black tie he’d intended to wear. ‘I kinda suck at that.’ He made puppy dog eyes at Ianto who took the necktie out of its satin-lined box and put it swiftly around Jack’s neck.  
He went through the motions of tying the Windsor knot – to the right, to the left, up, down, around, up – murmuring instructions to himself as well as Jack. Finally, he straightened it and flattened it automatically against Jack’s chest.  
‘So, now you’ll know how to do it,’ he said, taking a step back.  
‘Um, no, the hot guy who was tying my tie was too distracting for me to remember all that.’  
Ianto rolled his eyes; he was trying very hard to appear totally indifferent to all the little compliments Jack was paying him, which was the exact opposite of how he was feeling.  
‘You’re impossible.’  
‘Impossibly charming, yes,’ Jack corrected him jokingly, deliberately leaning towards him, closing the distance Ianto had just created between them.  
‘That too,’ Ianto agreed without missing a beat. Well, that was not so much a compliment as a fact. ‘Shall we, then?’ He pointed at the door.  
Jack smirked at him in his unique annoyingly disarming way and stepped a little closer still.  
‘By the way, love the suit.’  
***  
Needless to say, they arrived late. The dance was in full swing when they hurried into the hotel ballroom, scanning the room for their friends. They finally spotted Tosh and Owen at one of the tables by the wall. Toshiko was slightly aloof, watching the dance floor and twirling the straw in her drink between her fingers. Owen was quite openly pouring vodka from a flask into his glass.  
‘That bad, huh?,’ Jack asked him when they reached the table.  
‘Please, a funeral would be more fun.’  
‘I’m pretty sure there’s no dancing at funerals though,’ Ianto said.  
Owen nodded. ‘Exactly. And there’s more food.’  
Jack laughed, earning a glare from his best friend who was being completely serious, while Ianto turned his attention to Tosh.  
‘Where’s Gwen?,’ he asked her quietly.  
‘Killing it on the dance floor somewhere,’ she said with an attempt at a smile. ‘She disappeared with Rhys right after we showed up.’  
‘And Owen’s not much of a fan of dancing,’ Ianto stated.  
Toshiko nodded sadly.  
‘It’s not exactly like he has an obligation to ask me do dance,’ she reasoned, unconsciously running her fingers through the sweet little gardenia corsage fastened to her wrist with a lilac ribbon.  
‘You colour coordinated,’ he countered. ‘And he got you a corsage. It basically means he has to dance with you.’  
‘Sometimes I wish he was more like you, Ianto.’ Her voice was soft, and her eyes drifted to where Owen was sitting across the table, laughing at something with Jack.  
‘I’ll take it as a compliment.’ He kissed her on the cheek and got up. ‘Now, if you’ll excuse me, I owe someone a dance.’  
And right at the moment when Ianto got up, Owen did the same, extending his hand to Toshiko, who looked at him with wide eyes and a blush.  
‘Ready to see this guy dance, Tosh?’  
She took his hand without a word and followed him to the dance floor. Jack watched them for a moment with a shadow of a smile, then turned to Ianto.  
‘May I?,’ Ianto asked, slightly nervously.  
Jack’s answer was to put his arm around Ianto’s waist, and follow the others to the packed dance floor. The upbeat song that had been playing was just ending, and a slow one began.  
***  
An hour later, their table was full. Everyone had tired of dancing, and somehow Jack was able to get booze from the hotel bar.  
‘My father’s a regular here, so they feel like they owe me something,’ he explained with a wicked grin, pouring tequila into their empty glasses.  
‘Doesn’t your dad live in DC? I thought he was a senator,’ Rhys said, confused.  
‘Oh, my dear friend,’ Owen cut in. His tone was quite mocking. ‘There is so much dirt you don’t know about Senator Harkness.’  
Rhys opened his mouth as if he wanted to add something, but closed it back up, frowning. This bunch was weird, and he was growing more and more astonished that Gwen was friends with them. But she laughed at Owen’s remarks, even the rudest ones, and responded to Jack’s innuendos without batting an eye, and someone did mention the fact they had all kissed each other and no one seemed to find it the least bit strange. Maybe it was a you-had-to-be-there kind of thing.  
And to be sure, around her friends, Gwen wasn’t paying him much attention at all.  
‘But don’t you worry, there’s no way he’s gonna crash this party, he’s in Richmond for the weekend,’ Jack said. ‘Not sure if it’s a business trip, since he took his PA with him.’  
‘Well, maybe not so much a business trip, but it doesn’t mean there won’t be any kind of job involved,’ Owen added.  
‘That’s a given.’ Jack swallowed his shot of tequila and leaned back in his chair. His eyes wandered to Ianto, who had been stealing glances at him all along, and thinking whether or not it was too early to sneak upstairs.  
The company at the table was getting quite tipsy – all except for Rhys, as he declined alcohol, dismayed by the fact they could obtain it so freely, and fearing any possible consequences – and no one noticed a silent conversation between Jack and Ianto. It consisted to Jack’s hand on Ianto’s knee and a series of upward and sideways looks. They barely suppressed grins, and finally excused themselves, and headed to the lifts.  
‘Just remember to be safe!,’ Owen hollered after them. (Ianto was glad he was walking a step ahead of Jack, so he could hide the scarlet shade his cheeks turned. He was pretty sure the entire ballroom heard.)  
They waited for the lift to arrive, and Ianto stared at his shoes, aware that he was being watched by Jack, his hands in his pockets, biting his lip. With a ding, the door eventually slid open, and they walked in, Jack letting Ianto in first. They spun slowly around in sync to face the door, waiting for it to close, praying silently that no one else gets on with them.  
The lift started moving. Jack’s eyes had been scanning the ceiling and the walls all the while.  
‘I wonder if they have cameras in the elevators,’ he said, turning to Ianto with a mischievous grin.  
‘You’re an exhibitionist, I should’ve known,’ Ianto deadpanned.  
But then he decided that he didn’t care whether there were cameras in there, and pinned Jack to the nearest wall, kissing him deeply. The response he got was eager. So eager that they barely noticed that they’d arrived on their floor. They tumbled out of the lift, their hands still groping each other. Ianto led the way down the corridor, fumbling for the room key in his trouser pocket. He’d been to the hotel room earlier that day to set things up (which meant putting the necessary supplies in the bedside table drawer; he’d considered getting flowers or candles, but he wasn’t sure Jack would appreciate it, so he scrapped the idea), so he knew the way. He stopped to open the door, but Jack didn’t let him, pushing him against the door for another passionate kiss.  
‘I’m pretty sure there are cameras in the corridors,’ Ianto managed to say, when Jack moved on to kiss his neck.  
‘Good,’ Jack murmured. ‘I bet this is the hottest thing they’ve seen in security all day.’  
‘Yeah, I bet it is, but the doorknob is going to fracture my spinal column.’  
‘Oh, sorry.’ Jack backed out, letting him slide the magnetic card in its slot. The tiny light turned green and they stepped into the room.  
Jack looked around, striding slowly along the foot of the king size bed and running his fingers on the silky cream-coloured covers.  
‘I was expecting candles,’ he said, one corner of his mouth tugging up.  
‘Fuck off,’ Ianto said with an eye roll.  
‘Not a chance.’  
‘Good.’  
‘So what are we gonna be doing?,’ Jack asked, his voice soft and seductive.  
‘Dunno.’ Ianto shrugged with faux nonchalance. ‘Something like this?’ He pulled at the knot he’d carefully tied on Jack’s necktie before the dance, loosening it enough to take it off.  
‘You got me a tie only to take it off?’  
‘Busted.’  
‘I kinda like that.’ Jack took a step closer, slipping his hands under Ianto’s jacket, beginning to slide it down his shoulders.  
They moved without hurry, one kiss, one unfastened shirt button at a time. They savoured every touch; Ianto because this was his first time with another man, and because this could be his last time with Jack; and Jack because Ianto deserved all the best.  
Jack began kissing down Ianto’s chest when the sound of Ianto’s phone buzzing broke the spell. He put his forehead on the other boy’s shoulder and groaned.  
‘Please, don’t answer.’  
‘What if it’s Gwen? Or Tosh? We were supposed to be there for them,’ Ianto said, reaching to the spot on the floor where his jacket had been disposed of.  
‘Damn you and your righteousness.’  
‘Shut up, you love it,’ Ianto shushed him. He’d managed to fish his phone out of his pocket.  
Unsurprisingly, Gwen’s name was on the screen. Jack didn’t back off and began nibbling on Ianto’s clavicle.  
‘What’s up, Gwen? Rhys’s got unbearable?’  
‘Ianto?’ Her voice was shaky. Ianto’s expression turned serious in split seconds, and Jack’s head jerked up at the sound. ‘Ianto, I fucked up. I fucked up real bad. I’m so sorry, but I need your help.’  
‘What happened? Where are you?’  
He heard her stifle a sob.  
‘I’m in the lobby. I fucked up, I- me and Owen- And Tosh saw, and God, she’s gonna hate me, she’s never gonna forgive me.’ By the end of the sentence she was really crying, her breathing ragged.  
‘I’ll be right there,’ Ianto said.  
Without being asked, Jack nodded. Ianto was better at the sensitive, emotional stuff.  
‘I’ll be back,’ Ianto promised, and kissed Jack quickly on the lips.  
‘I know,’ Jack said almost inaudibly as Ianto shut the door behind him.  
***  
Gwen was pacing the lobby when he arrived. She was gnawing on a crumpled tissue, her make-up smudged in visible tear tracks. She ran to him as soon as he emerged from the lift, her heels clicking on the marble floor.  
‘I’m so sorry, I just didn’t know what to do,’ she choked out, throwing herself into his arms.  
He rubbed her back and shushed her for a minute, before pushing her away at arm’s length and calmly asking her to explain what had happened.  
‘We were- We were all on the dance floor, I was with Rhys, and Tosh was with Owen, and we kinda had a fight- me and Rhys- ‘cause he doesn’t like you all much, and he left me there, and Tosh went back to the table to get a drink, and- I don’t even know how that happened- We were just left there alone, and I was pissed at Rhys, and I wasn’t thinking, and Owen’s wasted as always-‘  
‘And Tosh saw you two snogging,’ Ianto finished for her. He sighed heavily. ‘Okay, where is she?’  
‘I saw her run outside,’ Gwen said, her voice almost breaking again. ‘I followed her here, but then- She’s not gonna wanna talk to me. So I called you, I had no idea what else to do.’  
‘And where’s Owen?’  
Gwen shrugged her shoulders, a look of contempt on her face.  
‘Where do you think? At the table, drinking.’  
‘Alright, wait here.’  
He stepped out through the glass door to the street, looking around in search for Toshiko. Finding her didn’t take him long. She was leaning on the wall to his right, halfway to the street corner, with a cigarette between her trembling fingers. Even without knowing what had taken place, he’d have guessed she was upset. Tosh rarely smoked, for rational reasons, but she also usually had a pack of Marlboros on her for others (Owen mostly).  
‘Tosh?,’ he said softly.  
She lifted her puffy eyes on him and took another drag of the cigarette.  
‘I thought you were busy,’ she said in a thick voice, despite the attempt at nonchalance.  
‘I thought there was something more important I should be doing.’  
Tosh stifled a sob; she wasn’t sure if it was remembering what happened that made her cry again, or if she was touched by Ianto coming down to her.  
‘I thought Jack was important,’ she muttered.  
‘He is. But he can wait.’ Ianto examined her face, red and blotchy from tears. She kept her gaze glued to the ground. ‘She’s sorry for what happened, you know.’  
Tosh finally looked up with the shade of a sad smile.  
‘I know. She’d said it ten times by the time she stopped chasing me downstairs.’ She rolled her eyes, uncomfortable; she hated feeling vulnerable, and now it constituted majority of what she was feeling. ‘I know her well enough to know that without her saying it. Gwen’s- She’s my best friend, even when she acts like a complete and utter idiot.’  
Ianto propped himself on the wall next to her and shrugged.  
‘I’d say the “b” word is in order.’  
‘I guess.’ She did her best to smile. ‘I know that it’s not anything serious. They made out. They’d done that before, they’ll probably do it again. It’s just that- It was supposed to be my night with Owen.’  
‘So what about him?’  
She shook her head. ‘I have no idea. I want to eviscerate him with dull rusty scissors.’ Ianto snorted at the image of sweet little Toshiko having at it gutting a completely drunk Owen. ‘But I couldn’t. He’s still- you know- Owen.’  
‘Yeah,’ he nodded sympathetically.  
They stayed quiet for a while. Tosh offered him her cigarette and he took it without thinking. They stood there, in the middle of the night in Downtown Washington, D.C., puffing out smoke from a shared cigarette. Tosh didn’t want to talk any more about it, but she couldn’t be more grateful for having a friend by her side. And Gwen probably wouldn’t have done tonight.  
Suddenly, there was a rustle at the hotel entrance to their left that made Ianto look. Owen Harper was walking out unsteadily, fumbling in his pocket for a lighter, with a joint between his lips.  
Ianto looked to Toshiko, who had already spotted her prom date. She seemed conflicted. She bit her lip, then took one last draw of her cigarette and put it out on a nearby trash can. She nodded to Ianto that it was okay, so he pushed himself off the wall, heading back to the hotel.  
‘You and Harkness aren’t fucking like rabbits yet?,’ Owen asked when he found himself in front of his friend.  
‘No.’ He glanced back at Tosh. ‘Had to sort out your mess. By the way, you owe her an apology.’  
Owen snickered, as if the situation was amusing.  
‘I don’t do sorry, mate.’  
With every intention of being intimidating, Ianto stepped so close to Owen he could smell his boozy breath and feel the warmth coming off of the now lit tip of his joint.  
‘You should tell her you’re sorry. For once in your life, bloody do what is right.’  
He didn’t wait for a reaction. Two seconds later, he was re-entering the lobby, his thoughts turning to where they were supposed to be all night.  
And once the lift opened on the right floor, he had to stop himself from running back to Jack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, a couple of things: 1) please, don't hate Gwen; 2) there'll be a little more of that hotel room in the next chapter, don't worry; 3) don't expect it to be too explicit, though, 'cause I suck at writing smut; 4) if you happen not to ship Tosh and Owen, forgive me, I had to insert them as a sort of secondary pairing (I just love them too much, I guess).
> 
> Anyway, thanks for sticking around and reading, even with my terrible non-schedule for updates on this thing!


	14. Chapter 14

Owen shuffled his feet to where Toshiko was standing, staring ahead as if she hadn’t noticed him. He inhaled the smoke from his joint slowly as he watched her and waited for her to react to his showing up. He didn’t have to wait long. Eventually, she couldn’t help it any longer, his stare boring into her face had become unbearable and she turned her puffy face to him.  
‘What?,’ she said as brusquely as was in her power.  
‘I’m a dick,’ Owen said, forcing his eyes to stay focused on Tosh, which was taking a lot of effort in his state of intoxication.  
‘I know,’ she told him, folding her arms over her chest and looking away again. ‘Anything else?’  
‘I’m an absolute piece of shit, and you’re right that you’re pissed at me.’  
She nodded without a word, though her face was quite clearly saying, “damn right I am.”  
Owen took another step towards her, so that she would have to move to prevent their shoulders from touching. His face was mere inches from her ear and his breath tickled.  
‘Seriously, Tosh, I’m sorry.’  
‘I thought you didn’t do sorry,’ she snapped back.  
‘I’m making an exception.’  
‘So this is what dragged you away from the booze?,’ she asked sarcastically.  
He winced, opened his mouth to speak and hesitated. Tosh eyed him dubiously, quirking an eyebrow.  
‘I had no idea you were here,’ he evaded. ‘I’d rather get trampled by horses than watch the election for Prom Queen.’  
‘Figures,’ Tosh muttered. ‘So you wouldn’t have apologised if Ianto hadn’t told you to, right?’  
‘I don’t know,’ he admitted. ‘Depends.’  
‘On what?’ She could hardly control the acid in her voice anymore.  
‘If I’d seen you cry.’ He lifted his hand and gently wiped her still wet cheek. Her mouth wide open, Toshiko watched him do it, the gentlest, sweetest thing she’d ever seen him do. Then, he brushed a stray strand of her hair away from her face and smiled at her softly. ‘Wanna get out of here?’  
‘Where to?’  
He pushed himself away from the wall of the hotel and motioned for her to give him her hand.  
‘I know an all-night diner near here. Bacon cheeseburgers?’  
She took his hand, and half a minute later they disappeared round the street corner.  
***  
It was four in the morning and Ianto was completely worn out. His eyelids were drooping, but was fighting to keep them open. He was lying on his side, his legs wrapped around Jack’s, and he was watching the other boy as he slept. Jack was sleeping like a baby, which was surprising, ‘cause usually he slept little and often restlessly. The only time when Ianto had witnessed him sleep peacefully was his first night at the Harkness residence. Until now.  
Ianto wasn’t sure if it was the post-coital bliss that knocked him out so thoroughly, but he liked the idea. Just as much as he disliked the idea of giving in to it as well. He enjoyed drinking up every smallest detail of Jack way too much to pass on the opportunity.  
Despite the interruption earlier, Ianto felt like he was the happiest person in the world that night. When he’d come back to the room after checking up on Tosh, he’d told Jack what had happened, but ten minutes later they were already putting it behind them and going back to where they left off.  
And what a night it was. Ianto used to think sex with Lisa was amazing. And it was, probably, in a way. But there was something in the way Jack touched him, held him, kissed him, that made that experience pale in comparison. He also managed to get a couple of very satisfying compliments from Jack (as well as some sounds which gave similar feedback).  
Eventually, Ianto lost the battle, falling into a deep dreamless slumber. And when he woke up a few hours later, he found himself on his other side with an arm draped over him and Jack snuggled close and watching him.  
‘You’re staring,’ Ianto said.  
‘Yup,’ Jack replied without missing a beat.  
‘See anything good?’  
‘Yup.’ Ianto could hear the smile in his voice.  
‘Good answer.’ He looked up at him, twisting in his arms to kiss him good morning.  
It didn’t end with one peck. Jack pinned Ianto down with his hands, straddling him, and kissed him again, more deeply.  
‘Up for round two?,’ he asked cheekily.  
‘I don’t think it would be round two,’ Ianto deadpanned.  
‘Four then.’  
‘That’s more like it.’  
They were laughing as they kissed again.  
***  
Ianto hadn’t expected to get back home this late; it was past noon when he finally crossed the threshold, smiling widely to himself. He could hardly stop himself from skipping to the door and then upstairs, and he was just about to jump over the couple of the lowest stairs on the way to his room (where he was planning to relive every single moment of the previous night and morning), when he saw a figure sitting in the huge leather armchair opposite the fireplace and glaring at him over the newspaper he was reading.  
‘Good morning, son,’ Ianto’s father greeted him sternly, and for a second the boy thought his secret was out somehow. ‘Or should I say good afternoon? I presume the dance was a success? You could at least get home at a decent hour.’  
‘We- I-,’ Ianto stammered, realising his father was still in the dark not only about his taking a date to prom, but also about his getting a hotel room. ‘We went back to a friend’s house after, lost track of time,’ he excused himself lamely.  
‘You could’ve called.’ Gawain’s voice continued to sound ice cold.  
‘Mam knew. Didn’t she tell you?’ Ianto made an innocent face.  
‘No, she did not.’  
Ianto shrugged. ‘She must’ve forgotten, then.’ He gestured towards his room, loosening his tie with his other hand. ‘I’m gonna go change.’  
Relieved that his secret was safe, he jogged up to his room, and once inside, he dropped backwards onto his bed, without removing his jacket or waistcoat, or the messed up tie. His thoughts drifted immediately back to Jack, leaving him grinning inanely to himself. If he still had any doubts whether he was in love with Jack or not, they were gone now, once and for all.  
His reverie was abruptly interrupted by his bedroom door swinging open to reveal his sister. Without speaking, she took him in suspiciously, closed the door behind her and sat down in the desk chair with her arms crossed over her chest.  
‘Cut the crap,’ Rhiannon said.  
‘What crap?,’ Ianto asked, frowning. He didn’t like people entering his room without knocking, especially when his mind was in such a pleasant place.  
‘We went back to a friend’s place after,’ she said mockingly. ‘This crap. You were at a hotel. In a hotel room, to be specific.’  
‘What makes you think that?’ He jumped up from the bed, heading for his wardrobe. Anything to hide his face from Rhi.  
‘That’s what they do here for prom, don’t they? Get hotel rooms for the night after prom, to have sex with their dates.’ She continued to eye him from under squinted lids. ‘Although, of course, you didn’t have a date, did you?’  
Ianto kept silent for an unnaturally long moment, pretending he was devoting all his attention to finding one particular t-shirt.  
‘Er, nope, no date,’ he replied finally.  
‘Not officially.’ Rhiannon stated. ‘Not in the version for Dad.’  
‘Fuck,’ Ianto muttered to himself. ‘What do you mean?,’ he added more loudly, turning back to her with the most innocent look he was capable of.  
‘I’m guessing here, but I would say you did have a date.’ She kept her gaze fixed steadily to her brother’s face. ‘And I’m also pretty sure I know who that date was.’  
He raised his eyebrows in fake interest. Please, please, please, say Gwen, he thought.  
‘Yeah, who, Sherlock?’  
Rhiannon made a pause, deliberately choosing the words before they were out.  
‘That mate of yours. Jack.’  
A nervous chuckle escaped Ianto’s mouth.  
‘We’re friends, Rhi.’  
‘More like boyfriends,’ she corrected him with conviction.  
‘Again, what made you draw that conclusion?’ He was trying his best to diffuse her suspicion, but he knew he was failing.  
‘Have you ever seen yourself before a date? Or one of those parties that you go to every other week? Well, the look’s the same. Actually, you’ve got worse since you started hanging out with your new mates here.’  
Ianto thought that she might be right; he could hardly stay still when he was about to see Jack. He only had never realised how much it showed. Or maybe his sister was indeed particularly observant.  
‘And what makes you think I went with Jack, of all people?’  
‘’Cause I’ve only ever heard his name from you.’  
‘You don’t have to know all my friends,’ he countered.  
‘I don’t know any of them. You don’t tell me anything these days.’ Her face became sad rather than curious.  
‘It’s just that- So much is going on-‘  
‘With your mates? Or with Jack?,’ Rhi asked. Ianto looked at her resigned, his power to deny everything draining. He wasn’t ashamed of what was between him and Jack (if there was even anything between them, and not just his unreciprocated feelings), and he truly didn’t want to hide it. But it proved incredibly awkward to actually talk about it. And he had no desire of having his father discover it, so he’d rather be careful. ‘You can tell me, you know. Is he even handsome?’  
He closed his eyes and sighed.  
‘He’s very handsome, now stop it.’  
‘Christ almighty, really? But since when? I thought you and Lisa-‘  
‘It’s different,’ Ianto interjected. ‘It’s just him. It’s only him. And I have no idea where this is even going, so if you could keep it quiet.’  
‘You mean, keep it from Dad.’ She nodded knowingly. ‘Sure, I won’t say a word.’ She got up, and headed slowly to the door, then she turned with her hand on the handle. ‘He’s nice though, is he?’  
‘Depends what you mean by nice,’ Ianto said, smiling absent-mindedly.  
‘Does he treat you right?’  
‘Yeah, he does.’  
Rhiannon smiled brightly at him.  
‘He better. I don’t have any mates around here who could kick his arse if he hurt my little brother.’  
‘And thank god for that,’ Ianto said without missing a beat. ‘But thanks, I appreciate that.’  
‘That’s what sisters are for.’ She was just about to walk out, but she looked back at him one more time. ‘You know you can come and talk to me about stuff, yeah?’  
‘Yeah. I know.’  
The door closed behind Rhiannon, and Ianto fell back onto his bed, relieved and comforted. This was going to work out. Now it just had to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait for the chapter. I suck, I know.
> 
> Obviously, there are bits and pieces of the Ianto/Rhiannon conversation that you can surely recognise. Credits for those goes to whoever wrote that beautiful scene in CoE Day 1. I didn't want this scene here to be exactly what that one was - since the circumtances are different and all - hence it's not verbatim.
> 
> I've been working on the next chapter recently, but there's still some writing to do on it, so no promises as to the time I will update. But I can assure you, there's a reason why it's taking a while to work out, and it's all about making it as good as can be.


	15. Chapter 15

The silence at the lunch table on Monday was deafening. Unintentionally, Jack and Ianto sat inches apart, while Tosh and Owen took the seats to their left, leaving Gwen sitting on the opposite side of the round table. She was actively avoiding making eye contact with Toshiko or Owen, who actively excluded her from the almost non-existent conversation. Jack tried to make small talk, but gave up, seeing no one was really in the mood to keep it up.  
Ianto had been wondering what Jack would be acting like after Saturday night, although he tried not to get his hopes too high up. To his surprise, Jack kissed him good morning at his locker, and after lunch walked him to his next classroom, gingerly lacing his fingers with Ianto’s (he even gave him a little anxious look as if to see whether it was okay, and Ianto had to pretend his heart didn’t just attempt to jump out of his chest).  
‘Could you maybe talk to Tosh? Check up on her?,’ Jack asked him, as they approached the Chem lab where Toshiko was already setting her textbook down on her desk.  
‘Sure. The levels of awkward today were through the roof, I’m just praying I won’t need to stage an intervention.’  
Jack raised an eyebrow.  
‘Would you do that?’  
‘Only if the alternative was someone going homicidal,’ Ianto said.  
‘That shouldn’t be a problem.’ Jack paused. ‘Though, you know, I bet you’d be a great interventioner.’  
‘Is that even a word?’  
‘Who cares,’ Jack said with a shrug. ‘You would.’  
The bell rang, announcing the break ending.  
‘Okay, I gotta go. You too, by the way.’ Ianto gently let go of Jack’s hand and began turning to the door.  
‘Ianto?,’ Jack asked, his tone much more timid and serious than before, and Ianto turned abruptly back to him. ‘Do you think you could come by mine after school?’  
‘Yeah, sure,’ Ianto answered without hesitation. ‘Meet you up front?’  
‘Yeah.’  
Jack almost smiled, pulled Ianto closer, grabbing him by the back of his neck and kissed him quickly, before disappearing round the nearest corner.  
As Ianto staggered into the classroom, he could feel the looks his classmates were giving him and hear the whispered comments, but he wasn’t even remotely interested in what they were saying or thinking. He made his way to his seat next to Toshiko and sat down, still giddy from the unexpected kiss.  
‘Thank you for joining us, Mr. Jones,’ said Mrs. White with the expression of a pretty good attempt at being strict.  
Ianto didn’t get a chance to talk to Tosh until the second half of the lesson, but it was she who ended up initiating the conversation.  
‘So, you and Jack going steady?,’ she asked.  
‘I don’t know,’ he replied truthfully. ‘Not officially anyway. We didn’t talk about it. It’s just- You know, we- had sex, and I thought it was gonna be just that one night, that he was going to back out of it, but he hasn’t. But it’s not like we’re boyfriends.’  
Tosh nodded along, going automatically through the motions of the experiment they were supposed to be performing.  
‘He gave you the “not boyfriend material” speech, didn’t he?’  
‘Yup, he did. Though he’s the one who’s acting more like a boyfriend.’  
That made Toshiko giggle.  
‘You clearly have never seen you two together.’  
‘Clearly, ‘cause I can’t exactly time travel myself to see us together or whatever.’  
She rolled her eyes and smiled.  
‘You know what I mean. You two can’t stay away from each other. Or keep your hands off each other much either. Don’t think I missed all the groping that was going on under the table at prom.’  
Ianto felt a blush creeping onto his face.  
‘Fuck off,’ he muttered. ‘What about you and Owen? Did he apologise?’  
Her smile widened.  
‘He did, actually.’  
‘Did something else happen between you two?,’ Ianto asked, eyeing her from under squinted eyelids.  
‘Sort of. Well, after he apologised, we ditched prom, and we went to get cheeseburgers.’  
‘And?’  
‘And I got home at eight in the morning,’ she finished, barely keeping her voice down to an excited whisper.  
‘What? What were you doing?’  
Toshiko set down the Erlenmeyer flask she was holding, and put her hands together, turning her body to Ianto.  
‘That’s the thing, nothing. We ate like a tonne of junk food, and we went for a walk down the Potomac, and then it was morning.’  
‘So, are you two a couple now?,’ Ianto asked.  
‘I don’t know,’ Tosh sighed. ‘Can you tell me why we had to fall for the two most complicated guys in the entire tri-state area?’  
‘I have no idea.’ Ianto paused. ‘What about you and Gwen? Have you talked to her?’  
Toshiko had gone back to work, carefully measuring out a solution for the experiment, but he knew she heard him and was capable of answering him. So he waited for a minute until she answered.  
‘Not yet. I’m not really mad at her anymore, though. That whole disaster led to one of the best nights ever, so I don’t feel like being pissed at her.’  
‘Why not talk to her then? She looked pretty miserable at lunch,’ Ianto noted.  
‘I’m not pissed, which doesn’t mean she doesn’t need to suffer a bit,’ Toshiko said with a mischievous glint in her eyes. ‘I’ll put her out of her misery in a day or two.’  
‘Yes, please, that lunch today was hell.’  
‘Don’t worry, I will.’ She went silent for a moment, considering something, and added, ‘It’s funny though, how she’s the only one who gets to have a normal, uncomplicated guy around, and she screws it up like that.’  
‘Maybe she’d rather have him complicated,’ Ianto said, shrugging. ‘We of all people should understand.’  
***  
After arriving at Jack’s, the two boys made their way directly upstairs to the Attic. Ianto was half-expecting Jack to pin him to the door as soon as it closed, but instead, he just went to the couch, shook off his coat, threw it onto the pile of cushions, and sat down. Not sure what Jack wanted, Ianto followed him to the couch and settled slowly on the opposite end, facing him.  
‘So, what’s the plan for today?,’ Ianto asked, faking nonchalance. Jack’s silence and pensiveness were unnerving.  
‘Not really a plan, but you wanted to hear something.’ His words made his friend frown. ‘This- This thing that happened to me?’  
Ianto nodded; he resolved saying anything wasn’t a good idea. Opening up was clearly taking a toll on Jack.  
‘Well, it didn’t really happen to me.’ He broke off and looked away. ‘I used to have a brother.’  
That sentence came out so quiet that for a second Ianto thought he’d imagined it. Jack went silent for a long minute, consumed by whatever memories where crowding his mind.  
‘Used to?,’ Ianto asked just as softly.  
‘His name was Gray. Grayson.’ Jack smiled sadly at the name. ‘He went missing six years ago. Or he was kidnapped. No one knows. They never found out what happened to him. Except- Except that- It was my fault.’ His voice shook, and his hands balled up into fists, burying his fingernails painfully in his palms.  
‘It wasn’t your fault,’ Ianto said helplessly, uncertain of what exactly was the best way to act now. Should he comfort him? Should he hold him?  
‘I was supposed to see him off to school, make sure he was inside before I went my own way,’ Jack went on. ‘But he was just a little kid, and I didn’t want to seem uncool and show up with my baby brother. It was the first day of school that year. First impressions and all that. We always had a lot of new kids each year, so I felt like it mattered. I made him go in first. I let go of his hand. I made him walk the entire two blocks alone. Our parents didn’t believe in driving us to school, even though they could do it most days or have someone do it. The school was close, there was the metro, and we were supposed to be capable and independent.  
‘It’s funny that after what happened, they never changed their mind about it. Most parents would go crazy making all kinds of precautions, so that their other child wasn’t in danger. Mine didn’t. I don’t think it was because they thought the odds were in their favour. I just don’t think they particularly cared what happened to me.  
‘But anyway, Gray walked to school, I waited a few minutes, and started walking too. I was sure he made it fine, why wouldn’t he?’ Jack snorted without humour. ‘I didn’t know he never showed up at school until third period, when the principal called me to her office through the intercom. She asked me why no one had called that Gray wouldn’t come to school on the first day.  
‘I told her he was at school, she said that he never came. That was the most surreal thing to go through. I remember screaming, and running down the hallway to his classroom, and having his teacher hold me down. But it’s all like it was another person doing all these things.’  
Jack finally looked back at Ianto. His eyes were glassy, and he looked like he was about to fall into pieces right there and then. He was still keeping his fists clenched; his knuckles had turned white. Slowly, Ianto moved to sit right next to Jack and took one of his hands. He began to try to loosen up Jack’s grip, unbending finger by finger. Jack allowed him, too exhausted by telling his story to resist. Each finger Ianto straightened out left a raw red half-circle mark in the palm of Jack’s hand. When the right hand wasn’t clenched anymore, Ianto held it up to his mouth and kissed its hurt palm, then proceeded to do the same with the left.  
‘Why are you doing this?,’ Jack asked.  
‘What?’  
‘Why are you still here? I just told you I’m a shitty person, that I let my brother get kidnapped, or killed, or I don’t know what. You don’t have to stay here.’  
‘I don’t have to,’ Ianto agreed. ‘But you didn’t tell me you’re a shitty person, you told me you lost your brother in the worst way possible, without even an explanation or a way to make sense of it, and that you’ve been blaming yourself for it all this time, and no one told you you weren’t guilty of anything.’  
‘Some people actually have said something like that,’ Jack muttered. ‘It doesn’t mean I did what I should have done.’  
‘Okay, so you made a mistake. You were what? Eleven, twelve years old? You were a kid who couldn’t know better. You couldn’t have known what would happen.’ Ianto paused to place a kiss on the inside of Jack’s left hand. ‘There is nothing that you should be blaming yourself for.’  
Jack stared at him distrustfully, fear rising somewhere behind his eyes. He felt like Ianto turning around and leaving was just a matter of time. And yet there still were hands on his hand, holding on tightly.  
‘Why do you have to be so reassuring?,’ Jack muttered awkwardly. ‘You’re almost making me feel okay right now.’  
‘Good, that’s what I was aiming for. And I have to be like that, ‘cause it seemed like that’s what you needed.’ Ianto put an arm around Jack and kissed him on his temple. He could feel Jack’s tension easing a little in the embrace.  
‘Okay, you keep doing that,’ Jack mumbled into Ianto’s chest, ‘if you have to.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope there's still someone reading...  
> Life's been keeping me busy with stuff, and there's also this thing called writer's block that's been keeping me away from writing in the time I do have to spare. (Which is the usual sign of me getting to a point in a story that I want to come out perfect, and am afraid it won't. Damn perfectionism and tendency to procrastinate).  
> I'm not going to promise a quick update, in order not to lie, but I will do my best to kick this writer's block in the butt (if I only find the time).

**Author's Note:**

> I've been writing this story very slowly off and on for a few months now, which doesn't mean it's anywhere near being finished, nor does it mean that I've grown any surer about its quality. One day I just thought, 'What if I wrote a Janto high school AU?' And it set things in motion in my head. I've been toying with the idea of making this an original story, but the characters are so very Torchwood in my mind I've decided to stick to them the way they are, for now at least.
> 
> I can give no guarantees about how often I will update, but I do have a few chapters written in advance. Also, as the linguist freak that I am, I'd like to clarify that I'll be using British English for the spelling and (mostly) grammar, but together with a lot of American vocabulary. Oh, and (sadly) I have never been to neither D.C. nor Cardiff, so please don't lynch me for getting anything wrong about them.


End file.
